Dear Amanda. As always I hope you're doing as good as possible where ever you may be.
I've been super busy lately... Time is just flying by and there's so much I want to do that I never get around to.
But, I've been trying to not worry so much about the choices I make or don't make lately as I've been really trying to just listen to the Universe/God/Source and trust that there is some kind of divine timing... That sounds kind of horrible when you think about all the bad stuff, like why would all that bad stuff be divine timing? Why would a higher intelligence want us to be subjected to such?
All that being said I've found in recent times that I've been seeing incredible synchronicities and realizing that I wouldn't have experienced those things or most likely would not have experienced them if life happened differently... And, I doubt I'll ever be able to reconcile that with what happened to you and so many others who have dealt with such hardship in life... Though, I really try in as many ways as I reasonably can to try to be positive and not get stuck in the negativity.
Speaking of all that, the last few adventures I've been on have been some of the best days and memories of my life and through all that it kind of made me realize that if I had done things much differently I may never have got to experience such. So, I still feel some guilt and regret that I wasn't able to somehow help you more... But, pretty much everything else in life I feel okay with cause it led me to where I am now and not many people in life ever get to experience some of the kinds of things I've experienced especially recently.
I'm so grateful just to be here and have more time with friends and family and I always wish you had more time here to be with your friends and family and it makes me sad, yet I try to remember to love myself and accept the way things are and I know you would want me to be happy so I really have been doing a lot better and am no where near as dark as I used to be.
I can't stop thinking about those adventures and the potential implications and wishing I could say more, it's pretty wild and I believe we have some sort of spiritual telepathic connection so I'm guessing you probably know what's going on... Pretty crazy!!! I wish I could talk to you in person about it.
My dad has been calling me "famous explorer" lately, lol... And, I don't know what to think about all that... Though, it is nice to know that I am doing some positive things with my time. :)
That's another thing I've been thinking about a lot lately! Is how I wouldn't be here if I didn't find a way to change my attitude... All this amazing and positive stuff has only been happening because I was able to look at the world in a more positive way and become less depressed to the point that I'm now happy and grateful instead of wishing I was dead.
Life is hard enough as it is, to be so depressed you wish you were dead is making things even way more difficult... Changing your mind to be more happy and grateful is one of the most powerful things in life. How you look at the existence is one of the only things we really seem to have control over, so might as well find more healthy ways to view things!
There's a lot else to say, but this is already getting kinda long and I'm low on time to meet up with a friend.
I guess I would just finish by saying that there's still nothing really to report in regard to romance stuff...
I was talking to one woman I liked on the dating sites, yet she wasn't responding very much and then I asked her about aliens and UFO type stuff and I think I scared her away, lol... That wouldn't be the first time... Some people seem very sensitive to the subject and if you say you've seen weird stuff flying around in the sky they don't wanna talk to you anymore.
On the bright side though, I think I handled it pretty well and I am feeling more confident than ever that I will meet someone and be worthy, especially once I get my life in a bit better order.
After the recent adventure I feel more than ever like I'm "worthy"... I've done some really amazing things! I just need to make some more money and improve my OCD a bit more and get out into the world more. :)
Anyways... Tons of love to you always! And bye until next time. <3
PS... Sorry I'm a day late with my letter... I don't even know what happened... I must be exhausted cause I took a nap the other day and slept for like 7 hours!!! I don't think I've ever slept that long from a nap before, usually it's just a couple hours.
