I am the type of person who wears cheap clothes and shoes. I live in a moderately priced house, eat inexpensive food, and have mostly tailored my life to people who will not require me to spend much money. Medication and hospital bills are two of the areas where I spend the most money, and this is because there is no way to negotiate the cost of medication and hospitalizations; you either pay or don't.
Life and bad genes have left me with a chronic condition that necessitates constant medication and hospitalizations, and it has become an unavoidable expense. Another thing I spend money on is gadgets; I enjoy good phones and devices, not for vanity, but because a better device allows you to make more money on the internet.
I have worked jobs where certain Android devices are not permitted, so if you do not have a modern Android OS, you may be unable to access the job. Spending is only done when absolutely necessary; people complain that I am out of style, that I wear outdated and cheap clothes, and that I may never find a woman who loves me. If I had been in my early twenties, that would have bothered me, but being 30 comes with more responsibilities: extended family, the cost of supporting one's nuclear and immediate family, the cost of health, and so on.
So, being older entails making sacrifices. You spent less of what you owned and more on others. I do not see the point in wearing modern and expensive items. First, I have had a reality check, and this is the primary reason. Living for yourself is both a blessing and a curse. When you do not live for anyone, you can spend whatever money you make, but you are mostly vulnerable; however, when you live for some specific people and share in their love and comfort, you will realize you have to give up many of the things you will naturally want because of them.
I used to watch the Bush Dogs documentary on National Geographic Wild on DSTV. These guys go hunting and leave their young ones in the safety of a hidden location, then travel long distances to eat and return to regurgitate their meals so their young ones can eat. So, whether or not they were filled, they must regurgitate and expel that part of them. I was not really able to feel this as a child because I was a child with special needs, which can be overwhelming at times.
So, no matter how far I get, my goal is to give off as much of my essence as possible so that my immediate nuclear family benefits. This includes excluding luxury, ostentatious lifestyle, and cost-cutting, which I do not mind. My health complications have always taught me the importance of having enough money to afford the next medication, so if it means wearing old faded clothes to get that medication, it is a blessing to be able to make a trade-off.
I am blessed, no matter what it looks like
....and this isn't underestimating my pain, ailments, aches and misfortunes, it's appreciating the fact that it's not over for me, and someone, (God) made it possible.
This is not to say that I am unaware of the quality of comfort; however, it is not worthwhile to live in comfort while also being uncertain about affordability. I know people who would not trade comfort for anything or anyone. Life only allows them to deal with their problems, but being able to live for someone and meet their needs is not entirely negative.
I was a bad sibling to my deceased brother; I was not available to meet his needs, and I would not give myself the pleasure of making excuses to let myself off the hook. But I have promised to do better for someone else if I have the opportunity and resources. Our level of life and state of mind may differ, so people want to spend everything they have, but at this point in life, it is pointless if you do not have someone/people who truly love and cherish you.
Money is good, but it is better to share it with someone who deserves the trade-off and the potential pleasure that you could derive from spending it alone.
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