My daily routine revolves around 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. work, which is physically and mentally demanding. Beyond my work routine, I often have my parents to check on. The past few days particularly took a different and hectic toll on me having to daily stand in and check on a sick family friend. I practically spent my Saturday at the hospital taking care of the patient. I have always known that patients's relatives undergo a lot of stress when in the hospital. I had first-hand experience, and I believe mine was less hectic because I am a medical doctor and had worked in the same facility. Nonetheless, it was a difficult task to have to take care of the patient and equally deal with the managing team (the laboratory staff included).
My head soon began to bang like a hammer was used on it. Recently, I've come to realize that my body reacts poorly to stress. This makes me wonder if I was sincere with my curriculum vitae, which stated that I'm able to work under pressure. Financially, I have had to go out of my way to provide funds for the treatment of the patient. The financial burden of other logistics like fueling remained a mountain to overcome, which I absorbed as a sacrifice. My nature is such that I find it difficult to say no, especially when health needs arise. Looking away has been difficult, and this is similar to the way we operate in my family. I have had to undergo so much stress from off-work hours that I look for opportunities to sleep at work. This is ethically wrong, as I should not be found sleeping at work, and using pills is something I do not prescribe unless there is an absolute indication.
I have lacked adequate sleep despite having to let go of some leisure activities such as movies and evening strolls. The irony is that, even if the hours of the day were increased beyond 24, I would probably still not have ample time to rest. I seemed to be drawn at different angles, and sometimes I wish I could just disappear—of course, not into oblivion.
I have been stretching myself beyond the elastic limit, and hopefully I do not breakdown. Many things seem to be running at the same time, and even when I try to take life a step at a time, some things pop up that require urgent attention.
The only consolation I have is that I am doing humanity some good, and hopefully, someday soon, the stress will be minimized and I can sleep as much as I desire, and of course, not with the aid of sleeping pills.
Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.