Here is another ballpoint pen doodle for this #trippythursday
The ultimate cold storage USB 100 dongle is here for cryptos in the future.
To plug it in you have to solve a physical puzzle by sliding various mechanisms into just the right place. Fail once and the whole thing explodes.
Then once you expose the USB plug you have to enter in the pin code just right by playing an elaborate keyboard tune on these three buttons. If you are squeaky on just one note your hand gets zapped and you can't attempt another try for another three years.
Next is the retinal scanning device. It doesn't just scan your retina as a thief might gouge your eye out, instead you have to blink a special code at it. If you fail the blinking pattern then a laser will shoot you in the eye.
Once you get past the tricky security login you have to plug it into a custom power unit that is charged only by an exercise bike.
The charge is needed to power up the microphone battery where it has voice recognition. If you say the right phase you can get past this next layer of security. As per usual if you say the wrong phrase or your voice is raspy then it will start blaring a loud annoying alarm at you.
Finally, if you have passed the prior security protocols then you can just press this button. They added this simple step as users tend to forget the simplest tasks. It even honks like a squeaky toy when you press it.
Now it is finally unlocked and you can see all your crypto loaded inside as a data visualization of light beams, numbers and symbols. Wow look at all those digital riches swirling around...
Now it is time to withdraw to an exchange to get paid. It used a high powered antenna to broadcast to a special cloud network of other users.
Whew finally my crypto made it to the exchange just in time for all the coins to turn to shit. The developers were all secretly planning a rug pull if too many people activated their cold storage wallets at the same time. Given the elaborate security login process the developers had time to dump all their coins before everyone had a chance to withdraw. Now millions of these fancy hardware wallets are in a landfill somewhere slowly catching fire underneath all the trash.
That's all for now, thanks for looking :-)