The five day journey from Northern Germany to our current house-sit in Italy was unlike every other journey. Or probably I was just different.
We left again the place where we had started almost five years ago. Setting sails again, still on our way home, wherever this might be.
And yes, I definitely am different now.
I wrote down some notes in the mornings with my cup of tea, to get my thoughts out and in order.
It's interesting I wrote in English and in my phone, usually I'm very analog when it comes to journaling ^^ but hey, we are just following here.
"4.November"
It feels like a dream. We finally left. I never felt this stuck like in those past two and a half months, never this ungrounded. My system needs to catch up. Restart, but on a new level. I don't feel much yet, didn't sleep very well this first night in my own bed.
All is good, my life can go on now. I don't have any expectations, which is good. I had many, but now I don't. All gone. I left them. They didn't serve me.
This place is a good one. Peaceful, although so close to big city. The river is very calm and I can see the light grey sky in it. Last night I saw the lights of the big city in the clouds and was glad I didn't have to go there. We go South today.
I'm excited and also a bit numb. I'm not sure where I am and what happened yet. Interesting state of being. Let's see how far we get today :)
I wrote this the first morning after leaving my home town. We slept beside a river close to Berlin. Very lucky to have found this spot (thank you, Park4Night).
Leaving felt different this time.
It have been very intense two months and relief came in waves every few hours.
I realized that I will never go back there, not in this way, not as this version of me. Which is good, because that version won't serve me where I want to go now.
Still I'm grieving. But getting better every day.
On we go!
all images taken by myself