I live barefooted and naked, very close to Earth and Nature, in an 18-acre, off-grid, clothing-optional, food-forest intentional community (GaiaYoga Gardens), way out in the jungles of Lower Puna, far East Big Island, Hawai'i. I love my life, and I'm immensely grateful to live where and how I do, on my own terms! I would not want to live any other way! 😁🙏💚⚡💥🔥✴️✳️❇️👣🌱✨🤙
Warm greetings all! 😁🙏💚✨🤙
As I've been sharing in these posts as of late, I'm in the midst of what I would call a broken-hearted dark night of the soul, where I am attempting to heal myself, shift my perspective on myself and my life, and return to balance, integration, wholeness, and vitality. As I've expressed, this has not been an easy or necessarily quick process. This morning I was really not doing well. So much so that I did something that I very rarely do - ask for help. I did so in the qortal healing journey group (messages, not posts) on Qortal, which is run by a very kind, caring, loving individual, and that has many people of a similar nature that are a part of it. The outpouring of support was quite strong and quick, which was both surprising and deeply appreciated.
I was sent the link to a video by Louise Hay, that had a guided meditation part way through. As I listened to the first part of it, I couldn't hold in the upwelling of emotions and tears, and I allowed myself to cry and sob for a good while. As I was listening to the video and crying, I was also doing a butterfly-hug cross-integration technique, to help my system process what I was feeling. That went on for quite some time.
By the time the guided meditation part of the video began, I was already somewhat calmer, which allowed me to close my eyes and relax into the guiding words of the meditation. I went quite deep, and soon felt far more relaxed and peaceful. It ended just a little while ago, as I write this post. Louise Hay, with whom I've been very familiar for many years now, is very helpful indeed, and I think I will be listening to this video again soon.
Certain experiences in the process of reconnecting with people, especially women, often trigger some very painful memories, perspectives, and ideas about myself, that often cause me to shut down and withdraw, and take me into a dark hole. That's what I was experiencing this morning when I asked for help on Qortal. As I type this now I feel better, though in somewhat of an in-between place between the inner hopeless desolation that has been present, and something that feels more vital, alive, and nourishing. It feels like I have so much work to do to get myself back to a good place again, but I shall endeavor to do so, little by little, each day.
I left the Flow House yesterday, Wednesday, just a little before 2:30PM, focusing on taking photos for this post, before putting my efforts toward land work. It was planned that I would teach Tiger how to collect cow food, but she was in the middle of another cleaning project, so I just did it myself. After collecting cow food, I decided to strain out kefir for my kefir-honey-cinnamon-cacao blend earlier than usual, with the intention of going to work in the garden or in my nursery afterward, which unfortunately did not happen. My nursery especially, which is an utter disaster presently, needs a huge amount of work and care to get it back to a beautiful and functional state. Making the time to do so is my challenge now, especially with how much I am asked to do other far-less-inspiring, yet important, tasks. It's definitely taking determination and persistence to shift how I spend my day, but it's necessary, so I'll just keep asserting what is actually important to me, and what I really want.
After working, I took a shower, grabbed my leftover superfood fire coffee from the Landing fridge, then I headed back to the Flow House, earlier than usual, to do my #HPUD powerup, write about it, and then publish my # HPUD - Hive Power Up Day - 20.4 HIVE Powered Up Just Now! post. Once that post was done and published, I got to my usual evening round of Hive tasks and catching up on my notifications, which took me a little after 12AM to complete. I did a quick round of token management, then I went to bed around 12:30AM. I did sleep well, very thankfully, waking up around 6:30AM, doing a quick round of token management, then finishing @benthomaswwd's @heartbeatonhive contest, before getting out of bed around 8AM to go make my superfood fire coffee.
It's just after 12:30PM, so a great time to end this post, so that I can get to my afternoon round of essential Hive tasks, before going to do land work. I already took photos for tomorrow's expression of this post in the morning, so that's done for the day. I think I have to collect cow food again today, then I need to focus on plant-and-garden work. I deeply appreciate you all so much! Until tomorrow! Forward, onward, and upward, joyfully together! 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙
2024 Life Goals
1.) Heal my broken heart.
2.) Bring myself and my life back into balance, integration, and wholeness, and do regular integral practices.
3.) Make my plant nursery beautiful again.
4.) Prepare regular batches of my medicinal teas collected from the land again.
5.) Continue my work with Arch Linux, Hive, Qortal, Bastyon, and other sovereignty-driven technologies, as well as learn relevant coding/programming languages to more fully contribute.
6.) Get regular healing sessions with women flowing again.
All photos were taken with my Motorola G Power Android Phone.
Thank you all so much who have helped me get to where I am today, and allowing me to share more of the beauty and magic from my life and my world with you, and for your continuous appreciation and support! I am truly deeply grateful! 😁🙏💚✨🤙
If you'd like to find me on other alternative platforms where I have accounts (I spend most of my time here on Hive), click on this signature image below to go to my LinkTree page.
If you'd like to send me a BTC Lighting Tip (made possible by the fantastic work of brianoflondon on @v4vapp), just scan the QR image below. 👇
Signature image created by @doze, and the dividers made by @thepeakstudio, with all tweaked to their present form by me.