BATTLES FOUGHT: My ordeal with Depression

in voilk •  2 months ago

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    Growing up, i always knew depression was real, but it wasn't something I really placed my mind on, one major reason being the fact that I grew in a family full of love and my parents made sure to always attend and cater to our needs as a child, so it never really got me like that.

    My first encounter with depression came when I had just got out of school, after I did my jamb and got a good score and also I had to write exam to get admission, I wrote the exam the first time and I was waiting for my result and probably admission letter. But to my surprise, my result wasn't released and also I wasn't given admission, I logged a complaint to the varsity and also went there in person all but to no avail. So I decided to take both exams again, I retook the exams and as usual was expecting my admission only for the same thing to occur again, my result wasn't released neither was I given admission.

    This was where I encountered depression, and nothing really seemed to bother me no more again. As I was wondering what had gone wrong I became sad with a false sense of hope, that my results would be released. But till date it hasn't. I became a shell of who I was at home, my parents did their best to cheer me up and all. That was my first encounter with something similar to depression.

    Fortunately I got admission into another tertiary institution to study a course that I didn't want to study but had no option, but to accept it. It was here I got close into depression, almost became a victim and had to fight daily battle's to save and pull myself out, I never really got into it here as I was able to avoid the subtle hands of depression, I got into school and was progressing finely, until I met a girl, yes it was a girl.

    So while I was headed down to school I happened to be with 3 other newly admitted, which we all came together as our parent's knew each other I was the only boy amidst them, and the girl happened to one of them also. We all go to school got the same hostel and stayed together and then I began to like her, and she reciprocated the feelings I told I had for her and things kicked off. We became close, and became best friend's.
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    The liking and mutual connection grew, then suddenly from the blues, there came third party she began to draw more close to him and that was where I lost it. I threw cautions to the winds, the heartburns and stomach aches I got pushed me real far, depression set in as she wasn't heeding my words that she being with this person was hurting me a lot. And so I fell fully into depression, a very sad time it was for me, as I knew each day I was always wishing I was never alive, I got into drugs, antidepressants drugs, sleeping pills. Sleep was constantly avoiding me, and I was always overthinking things, migraines headaches and I was always very weak, my studies were affected I really couldn't concentrate in class as my mind was always preoccupied with the thought of her being with the third party. I became a shadow of myself around my friends, a fun fact Is when looking at me from the outside, Is that you wouldn't easily notice I was going through it, only the ones closest to me knew what I was battling.

    I could vividly remember, always wanting the day to go by really fast, as I hated the day, always wanting to harm myself and such. The drugs became a normal routine for me, sleepless night and headache was a constant thing, I was always in a moody state nothing really seemed to cheer me up, occasionally I would get happy but not to the depth of my heart's. A whole semester I was a victim, and I battled depression, I just really couldn't wrap my head around it, not until my close friend now turned roomie, decided to help my life, he packed the entire drugs I was on, kept it from me.

    He started to push me out, cheer me up and also my best friend seeing what I was in came around and slowly and gradually I began to pull out and to become myself once again. I say, it's a thing I never want to to experience ever again, it was the worst first experience in school and a semester I hated the most. Now I'm back to being better. I'm grateful to my two closet friends for helping me out of it. We should always endeavor to check up on our fellow friend's, of recent a student in my school took his life, no other cause than depression as it must have been the only result his mind could conclude on to ease his pains.
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    Depression is a slow monster that gradually eats it way through you until it finally captures your minds and your whole body succumbs to it. One simple way to avoid it is to never let It lay any of it fingers on you, and one way is to avoid any form of overthinking, as this was the way I got entrapped.
    I suggest avoiding overthinking is a very easy to avoid the entrapments of Depression.

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