The minimalist lifestyle emphasizes so much decluttering and embracing it genuinely would automatically make anyone reevaluate their priorities, shifting focus from irrelevances to things that truly matter.
My relationship with people was one of the things that I had to reevaluate after embracing minimalism. I needed no one to tell me that I was in several unhealthy relationships, but letting go was difficult. As much as I wanted to walk away from these relationships, I was scared of losing people. The thought of becoming lonely prevented me from doing the needful, and I had to put up with so many things for a while.
Aside from my fear of becoming lonely, I grew up with the idea of not cutting people off because no one knows tomorrow, but at a point, I had to stop thinking about tomorrow and focus on the present.
But, despite making up my mind to prioritize my well-being in the relationships I was involved in, I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I didn't just want to cut people off just like that, so I decided to start doing things how I really wanted them. The idea was to stop pleasing people at the expense of my well-being, which was a fair way of showing those who don't care about me the exit door regardless of what we shared, and it worked.
I was surprised when my childhood friend cut communication with me just because I made him realize that doing everything he requested of me just for his sister's wedding celebration can't happen.
I stated clearly that if it were his wedding, I would gladly do these things just for the sake of friendship, but for his younger sister, it can't just work. He stopped communicating and wouldn't even reply to my call or text, so I let him be.
Months passed, and he finally responded to one of my texts, saying I didn't value our friendship. I was speechless because he is the reason why I have traveled out of my state several times for ceremonies.
He always knew someone doing something, and it makes him happy whenever I accept to go with him, even though those trips make me spend unnecessarily and even cause me mental stress. I thought about it critically and concluded that aside from these outings, we don't have any tangible connection. We barely talk about life or personal growth, so what's our relationship all about?
Without hesitation, I withdrew and made it clear to him why. Things went on like that, and there were others who cut me off when they started complaining about my new lifestyle, which was fine with me because as long as my minimalist lifestyle doesn't affect you negatively, we shouldn't have problems.
This is just me being myself, watching over myself, and prioritizing my well-being, so if anyone isn't cool with the new me, it's fine if they use the exit door out of my life.
At some point, I had to check myself again because it felt like I wouldn't have anyone to call a friend again if things continued like that. I thought I might have been too rigid, but that wasn't the case. The issue was that I made friends without purpose, and I was more about the numbers than value.
Today I know those who were really my friends from the past. I felt terrible knowing that I didn't even treat some of them well back then, all because I had misplaced priorities.
I became knowledgeable enough not to just call people friends because our paths crossed in life. I realized friendship is more about adding value, being there for one another, and having connections beyond mutual benefits, superficial interest, external validation, physical proximity, and so on.
I learned what it means to have intentional relationships, which are built on meaningful connections, shared value, authenticity and other positive values. Defining my relationship and decluttering that friend list really helped me in different ways. I am at peace with myself knowing that I don't have to please anyone or do things against my wishes just to keep my relationship with people.
My experience with re-evaluating my relationship with people and making a firm decision whether to keep or let go has proven that for minimalists, less is indeed more.
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