Greetings!
Growing up, I wasn't much of a troublemaker because I wasn't outspoken, especially in a crowd at school. However, I felt more comfortable around close friends. That was just my lifestyle back then, and I remember having many conversations with my dad where he would sometimes liken my quiet nature to being dull. The only thing that saved me from his constant remarks was my school results, as I usually ranked among the top students in my class.
As far as I can remember, the only habit that repeatedly got me into trouble—one that I couldn't quit no matter how hard I tried—was laughing at teachers' phonetics. By this time, I was no longer a little kid, as I was already in secondary school. Despite my generally low-key lifestyle in class, I had this uncontrollable urge to laugh whenever a teacher mispronounced a word or spoke with a peculiar accent. What’s worse, my laughter had a way of buying off others in the class.
There was one teacher in particular, a National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) member. She was a Yoruba woman named Kemi, and she taught us Chemistry. Her English was quite good, with only a slight Yoruba accent. However, there was one word she pronounced that always got to me—she would say “eliment” instead of “element.”
Hold on, before writing this, I actually looked up the correct pronunciation, and it turns out that both pronunciations are acceptable, depending on whether you’re following the UK or US version of English!
To this day, it’s not that I’m fluent in English—far from it—but I’ve always had a sharp ear for the oral aspect (the oral English we were taught in school). Whenever someone mispronounces a word, it really bugs me, and that’s why I sometimes get frustrated when certain Nigerian tribes spell a word one way and pronounce it completely differently. I didn't mention the tribe but you know it😅
So yes, this teacher hated it whenever she pronounced “eliment,” and I would burst out laughing uncontrollably. She would angrily drag me out for a whipping, and I’d feel the pain. In those moments, I would swear to myself that I wouldn’t laugh again. But the moment I returned to my seat, as soon as she said the word again, I would erupt in laughter all over again. The rest of the class couldn’t help themselves either and would join in. Eventually, Kemi would leave the class in frustration.
She was a Deeper Life member, so maybe that’s why she never reported me to the school authorities. She preferred to handle me on her own, which she did almost four times a week with whipping! It was because of me that people started calling her "Aunty Eliment."
Honestly, I wanted to stop laughing, but it was just so hard for me. Whenever she came into class, I would try to cover my mouth with my hands, preparing for the moment she might say that word. I would cover the laughter as best as I could, but even then, the guys around me knew what was happening. As soon as she began to speak, their laughter would break my control, and I would join in.
Eventually, she had no choice but to adjust her pronunciation. Whenever she was about to say "element," she would pause, then pronounce it the way she thought I wanted to hear, making a reference to “that yellow boy.”
Well, towards the end of her NYSC service, we actually became the best of friends and that's the sweetest thing.
Thanks for reading.
This is my entry to Hivenaija prompt of the week.
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