Continuamente el ser humano se debate en: “queremos hechos y no palabras”, justificando con ello que lo importante es lo que alguien hace, por allí hay un dicho que reza: obras son amores y no buenas razones, aludiendo a lo que se dice pero no se ejecuta. Es una deliberación interior genuina, ya que es incuestionable que yo puedo decirle a alguien oralmente que le quiero, pero si los hechos no son vinculados con esa frase entonces no sirven de mucho. No obstante, eso no significa que no haya que decirlas. Muchas veces se cae en el engaño de dar por supuesto que el otro sabe cómo soy, cómo estoy o lo qué siento...Se llama error de “ otorgamiento de facultad" ya que le damos al otro el poder de la adivinación.
Para hablarles de lo vital que es una familia amorosa con muchos te quiero o palabras motivadoras, les cito lo siguiente. Con 5 años fui víctima de un abuso sexual (actos lascivos sin violación) yo nunca entendí ni vi eso como algo perjudicial para mi, puesto que era un amigo de la familia. Mi propio abuelo quien siempre me cuidaba y trataba con amor, me colocó en los brazos del citado señor, confiando que él me cuidaría con la misma pro actividad que él lo hacía. No fue sino cuando tenía 11 años que entendí lo que verdaderamente ocurrió, mi hermosa y amorosa familia que jamás se enteró de lo ocurrido, se encargó que eso no fuese importante para mí, ni marcara mi vida, pues sabía que contaba con ellos, que me acompañaban en todas mis actividades o circunstancias, con sus te quiero constantes y eres la mejor… reforzaban mi auto valoración y estima personal, impidiendo que el hecho me “tocara” y lo hicieron sin saber lo acontecido.
En relación ha esto de decir lo que sentimos no he tenido ningún tabú porque así fui criada. Sin embargo en ocasiones se ha mal interpretado mi excesiva afectividad, mi empatía marcada y mis “te quieros”. Entiendo que tiene que ver mucho con la cultura y tus orígenes, no todas las familias son afectivas. Detrás del recelo a decir “Te quiero” a veces suele haber miedo a decir algo que comprometa. O sencillamente temor a que las palabras lleguen a un vacio… a la nada, debido a que el otro no las comparta y entonces pueda abrirse una hendidura entre los seres. Los te quiero son personales, se dicen sentidos y con sentimiento sin esperar que sea devueltos, los dices para el otro pero también son para ti, los dices mirando a los ojos, escribiéndolos desde tu alma, nunca se pierden eso debemos tenerlo por seguro…no son palabras al viento.
Greetings community and the motivator of this topic @lilianajimenez who not only considers interesting and important but is often crucial in a person's life. Pronouncing “I love you” involves expressing two very important words. The words are decisive. We have been accustomed to assuming that they are carried away by the wind, if they are not accompanied by facts, however this is not entirely true: what is said remains said, sometimes there are words that remain sown in the soul, even conditioning existence.
Human beings continually debate: “we want actions and not words”, justifying with this that what is important is what someone does, there is a saying that goes: works are loves and not good reasons, alluding to what is said. but it is not executed. It is a genuine inner deliberation, since it is unquestionable that I can tell someone orally that I love them, but if the facts are not linked to that phrase then they are of little use. However, that does not mean that they should not be said. Many times we fall into the deception of assuming that the other knows what I am, how I am or what I feel... It is called the error of "granting power" since we give the other the power of divination.
To talk to you about how vital a loving family with many I love you or motivating words is, I quote the following. When I was 5 years old I was a victim of sexual abuse (lewd acts without rape) I never understood or saw that as something harmful to me, since I was a family friend. My own grandfather, who always took care of me and treated me with love, placed me in the arms of the aforementioned man, trusting that he would take care of me with the same proactivity that he did. It was not until I was 11 years old that I understood what really happened. My beautiful and loving family, who never found out about what happened, made sure that it was not important to me, nor marked my life, because I knew that I counted on them, that They accompanied me in all my activities or circumstances, with their constant I love you and you are the best… they reinforced my self-esteem and personal esteem, preventing the event from “touching” me and they did so without knowing what happened.
In relation to saying what we feel, I have not had any taboo because that is how I was raised. However, sometimes my excessive affection, my marked empathy and my “I love you” have been misinterpreted. I understand that it has a lot to do with culture and your origins, not all families are emotional. Behind the reluctance to say “I love you” there is sometimes a fear of saying something that compromises. Or simply fear that the words reach a void... nothingness, because the other does not share them and then a gap can open between beings. I love you are personal, they are said meaningfully and with feeling without expecting them to be returned, you say them for the other but they are also for you, you say them looking into their eyes, writing them from your soul, they are never lost, we must be sure of that... They are not words to the wind.