Ryl has been my classmate since seventh grade, but we just became friends when we entered the eighth grade. Our energy was kind of similar, so I guess that's one of the reasons why we didn't hit off immediately. Thankfully, I got to know her more thanks to our common friend, Lili. Lili was the opposite of us two because she's the chatterbox. Whenever she had a topic to share, she really shared it with us, and from there we became good friends.
I discovered that Ryl is also an otaku, and that became one of the foundations of our friendship. We're both fan girls, and fan girls do really understand each other. After discovering that we both have the same interest, we soon became closer—closer to being best friends. But somewhere in the middle of our eighth grade, she changed. Not really a noticeable change—like a change in dressing style or in the way she talks or acts—but something that only her close friends would notice.
She didn't inform us about this one—not that she's obligated to, but I guess for me, it's normal for friends to share the latest thing that's happening in their lives. I know it wasn't a beneficial change because she didn't want to share it with us. I know Lili somehow knows it, but she didn't want to share it with me. I don't know why, but I felt bad... and feeling bad wasn't the only thing I felt at that time. I somehow felt angry and frustrated that I didn't know what was happening in my friend's life.
So... I decided to be a self-proclaimed detective. I've observed her nonchalantly, and I'm surprised I didn't notice it sooner. I realized that maybe this whole time I've been quite biased in seeing her. I've become too comfortable with her—too comfortable with my belief that I already know her. It wasn't a big deal anyway, but somehow it became a big one for me because she chose not to tell me that. I mean, if she didn't trust me with that small thing, then how is she supposed to trust me with the bigger things?
Maybe I'm also just a self-proclaimed friend of her.
I felt miserable for how many days, and one of my close friends noticed that. Even though I concealed it hard, Cath noticed my grim mood, so she asked me,
"Hey, gette, what's wrong? Did Kakashi die again?"
I laughed when I heard what she asked.
"You crazy...'of course he did not and he will not!", I said in a mock angry tone.
"Ok, ok, ok, Mrs. Hatake, don't be angry; I'm just asking! Ayo, chill," she said while jokingly lifting her hand up to the air.
"It's nothing important, Cath," I said calmly.
"I know," she said knowingly.
I looked at her, confused. Did she know it? Before I could say anything, she continued, "It's nothing important, gette...", she said while patting my back.
After that, she told me that she somehow knew about it. I'm surprised again because it seems I'm the last one who knew it. She seemed to have sensed that I felt bad after knowing it, so she immediately explained how irrelevant it was. We chatted for a few more minutes, and after that, the bell rang.
I somehow felt relieved.
Her little secret was almost known by our whole section, and it seems not a big deal for them. I tried to brush off the negative feelings that clung to me whenever I heard that topic. I continued acting like nothing had happened. It was her decision, so I guess I'm out of it. Days passed like a running horse, and the next thing I knew, we're already nearing our exam week.
We're really busy at that time and also obviously stressed with a lot of requirements for clearance. It was especially a busy time for us, scholars, because we had more requirements that we needed to comply with compared to the regulars. I was busy checking the cleaning area when I saw them. They're silently talking to each other, and by they it means Ryl and her rumored boyfriend from regulars. Like I said, it's not really a big deal, but I noticed that Ryl has been kind of distracted lately.
I don't want to blame it on him, but it seems that since they became a thing, she became distracted. She was distracted—to the point that some of her schoolwork was affected. There's even been a time when she helped us with our group project. In the end, it's just me and Lili who made our project, and at that time, I'm beginning to loathe their relationship. There were times we still talked, but it wasn't like before because she really changed.
But I'm still hoping that she'll eventually come to her senses before it's too late.
It's the day before our exam, and our anxiety and nervousness are really apparent. I'm cleaning my assigned cleaning area swiftly because I want to go early. I'm almost done cleaning when Juli, my other friend, approaches me.
"Hey, gette, are you coming with us for the group study?", she asks happily.
I was perplexed for a moment because I didn't know what group study she was referring to.
"Huh?", I said absentmindedly.
"Didn't Ryl tell you? We're going to Ean's house for a group study. I thought you already knew."
"Aww, about that one, I think I can't because I've got something to do this afternoon."
"Aren't you studying? Well, we can just study in Ean's house."
"No, I'm not studying this afternoon." I lied uncomfortably. "Something came up, so I'm not free this afternoon; I'll just study this evening."
"Aww, what a bummer. Surely there's next time gette. By the way, good luck, mata-ashita~ *"
I smiled at her. "Yeah, next time, sayonara ** Juli-chan *** mata-ashita! Ganbarou ****!" I said in a fake enthusiastic voice.
She waved at me while walking away. I continued to gaze at her back as she walked away. No matter how much I wanted to patch things up with Ryl, I couldn't go with them because I knew I couldn't. I know I can't blend into their own world; that's why I need to go on my own.
I went outside the school gate alone.
Before I went home, I spent a few minutes in the computer shop. I didn't have a phone at that time; that's why I always stopped by the computer shop to check my Messenger account first. My time is almost up when a message pops up—it's from Ryl's mom.
good afternoon, dear gette, ryl wasn't home yet, so I was wondering where she may be now.
I stared at her message, not knowing what to reply. I don't want to lie, but I know Ryl will be in real trouble if her mother knows where she is. So...
good afternoon, maam. I went home early, so I guess she's still in school cleaning...
I somehow cringed when I sent it. Yes... It was the day before the exams that I lied to her mom.
I felt really bad.
I logged out after I replied to her mom's message. A strong gust of wind blew towards me, and the once humid air turned into a chilly one.
'It looks like it's going to rain', I muttered absentmindedly to myself.
Thank goodness I didn't join them.
NOTE:
We are quite hardcore weaboo before so we really use some Japanese phrases/greetings whenever we wanted and we can.
* Mata-ashita: Japanese ; See you tomorrow.
** Sayonara: Japanese ; Goodbye
*** -chan: Japanese ; suffix used for people you're close with; most frequently used with girls or young women, though it can be applied to both genders.
**** Ganbarou: Japanese ; Let's do our best!