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Parenting is huge work. It takes lots of intentionality and attention to detail. From when a child is younger, he/she is clingy and open and innocent until they begin to attain some levels of self-awaremess within the period that they become teenagers and attain puberty and from then, they want some freedom and just be them and do them.
It can be really difficult for the parents at this time as most kids tend to shut them out abruptly. And different parents handle it differently. What I have cone to learn and understand is that it's a phase of growth that the child would eventually pass.
At some point in a child's life, parents have to start learning to let go. This means it's time to start cutting the apron strings/umbilical cord. When it comes to our children, we as parents have to start teaching our children, not only to be respectable and responsible individuals, but to be independent.
They have to learn to survive in the real world because mom and dad are not always going to be around.
Giving a child space doesn't mean he/she is no longer your baby. The thing is that you can't be at the center of everything in their lives. When a parent prives overprotective and overbearing, there's a huge likelihood that the child begins to take steps backward and keep information, significant or not, from the parent. They even keep away bits of information that they shouldn't have a problem telling their parent.
Kids want to know and feel like they're grown enough to handle themselves and situations even when it's obvious that they can not. The best way to not be intrusive and overprotective and still be a good parent is...I really don't know.
But, don't be overprotective. Just be protective. Cause, if they never get hurt, how will they learn, how will they persevere?
If something needs to be done, don't do it for them. Empower them, advise them, demonstrate for them, but have them do it
Hold them accountable.
Communication too is a key! In order to teach kids what they need to know and to correct them when necessary, one needs to communicate in a manner that kids can respect, understand, and respond to.
Parents need to learn how to talk so kids. It is possible to be protective of your kids without being overbearing, but it is not possible to be overprotective without being overbearing.The key word here is over.
Being overprotective means you are not letting your kids make their own mistakes and learn from experience, you are keeping them from making calculated risks and learning what their limits are and you are insulating them from the world which may mean that they will need safe spaces or, at
worst, will leave them unable to function on their own. Worse off, it will make them sneak around you, and they may end up doing harmful things.
Be protective and supportive, but do not be
overprotective. Let them experience life, both the ups and the downs. If they fall, encourage them to get back up and keep going..
Not being overbearing suggests that your child should be mannered but also shouldn't have any hate towards you?
The best way I'd suggest is pretty manipulative, but still, hear me out.
Treat him as an absolute strict parent and still be a friend and confidant. No, at what points to switch between both and put your foot down.
The strictness will shape the child's brain in a way that despises things that you would want him to hate. Make sure not to make it too strict. And explain why your stance, making sure to give an ear to their sentiments. There's no manual to this thing. Every parent just has to find what works for them and then strike a balance.
I hope that this was interesting to read. Thanks for coming around.