Relationship sometimes can be complicated due to various reasons
I'm going to base my discussion more on the married couples and what I think may be the reason for remaining in a relationship that may be causing them pain.
We have heard of men who literally beat their wife to death. These women have children for them and most of the time been enduring these beatings and torture because of one reason or the other.
The main issue I see here is the environmental factors. People here in Africa tend to think more about what others will say than what is best for them. I heard of a mother sometime ago who threatened to disown her daughter if the daughter ever leaves her marriage.
There is this lady I know who was worried about the number of relationships she had had and wondering what people would say if she leaves her present abusive boyfriend. Everything boils down to how people tag them when they try to walk away from toxic relationships.
Another factor that also hold one back in such relationships is love. The other partner may be so in love that he may not consider whatever his partner is doing, he just wants them to be happy and live in peace together. I know a guy who has caught his girlfriend cheating several times and he kept forgiving her and purpose marriage to her. He is just so much in love with her that he feels he won't survive if she leaves him.
The issue of finance also plays a major role when we discuss this topic. Some people are in relationships despite knowing that there are so many red flags against it, they still go ahead because the other partner has the capacity n terms of finances to take care of them and provide all they need. I've heard of a sister who gets very expensive gift from her husband after being beaten by him. She couldn't leave him because of his wealth and she has resolved to bear whatever happens in the marriage.
Fear of the unknown is another factor I've come to realize makes some persons to remain in toxic relationships. Some people say that they never knew their partners could do the things they're doing presently so, what gives them the guarantee that the next person they will meet won't do worse than the the present is doing.
Sometimes, it's about the children. In this type of situation, it's the woman that falls into this dilemma. They get scared about what would happen to the children if they leave. They wonder about the emotional impact of separation on their children and they tend to try to continue in the marriage and copping with their partner because of their children.
Some others go to the extent of threatening their partner if they try to leave them. These threats may involve life sometimes and such makes the partner that wants to leave to stay back so that they won't be killed. We heard of a man sometime ago who burnt down the house with his ex wife inside because she left him.
I have seen a lot of these issues play out in front of me countless times and I've had my own fair share of it myself which has brought me to the point of not judging anyone in a toxic relationship. They have their reasons for staying and they may be planning a way out that you may not be aware of.
The things that can reduce these acts are self awareness. Some people need to know who they really are, not what their abusive partners call them. Therapy could help in this area.
This is my response to Hive Learners community weekly featured content week 147 episode 1 on the topic: Even When Toxic
Thanks for stopping by, I really appreciate you.
Yours Truly @aunty-tosin 💕💕