It is believed that harboring feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness can have effects, on ones well being. It's, like taking a substance and hoping the other person feels the pain.. I've experienced this truth deeply in my life. I've always tried to nurture forgiveness within myself because carrying grudges and grievances is heavy a weight to bear.
I'm not claiming to be some kind of enlightened soul who has never faced betrayal or pain. Like everyone I've been through my share of experiences and encountered people who have treated me unfairly. When those moments arise the initial reaction is usually anger, sadness, confusion or a desire for retaliation. Admittedly these emotions can consume me after being wronged.. Enough, both empathy and my quest for inner peace take over.
Empathy plays a role as it helps me see the person separate from their actions. None of us are characters; we are all individuals shaped by our own struggles, deep emotional scars, challenging circumstances misguided beliefs or various other factors, beyond our control.
Understanding the situation doesn't justify the actions. It does help me grasp them better which in turn makes forgiving easier. I've also come to realize that forgiveness is something I do for myself not, for the person who wronged me. It's a way to heal my wounds reclaim my strength and prevent negativity from taking root within me. Forgiveness brings back my peace. Lifts the weight off my heart. Holding onto resentment only harms me, not the person.
Forgiveness isn't a simple process. It often involves working through feelings of hurt, anger, sadness and betrayal. I may need to mourn what was lost examine my expectations versus reality and gain perspective on the picture and human imperfections that led to the wrongdoing.
In cases of betrayal or unimaginable cruelty forgiving can feel like a rollercoaster ride with ups and downs. There are moments of progress in letting go followed by setbacks when memories resurface unexpectedly. During those times I have to choose to keep moving on this journey, towards forgiveness.
Belief, inner strength and ethical beliefs such, as reflection have offered me comfort and guidance in times. However the act of forgiveness ultimately had to originate from within myself. It was a decision that I needed to take on my own. To release the burden and regain the serenity and tranquility I yearned for deeply.
Nowadays my goal is not to forgive others but to forgive myself. I am far from flawless. I have certainly erred in ways that have had effects, on others even if unintentionally.
By releasing myself from guilt and embracing change and intentions I find a sense of liberation and optimism.
Does this mean I'm some kind of forgiveness expert effortlessly moving through life unfazed by challenges? Not all. I still grapple with emotions, like anger, bitterness and deep wounds like anyone else. The key is recognizing that holding onto these emotions only allows them to occupy space in my mind and taint my peace. Forgiveness isn't a decision for me; it's a process of reshaping my perspective one step at a time. Eventually I reach a point where I can release the burden.
Is all this effort worthwhile? Without a doubt because I've witnessed how forgiveness can be a gift to myself. Each act of forgiveness no matter how small brings about a sense of lightness in my heart that leaves me feeling liberated more serene. To me that's truly priceless.
So if you're struggling with resentment or pain towards someone who has hurt you I urge you to consider forgiving them. Not for their benefit but, for your well being. Begin by reflecting and take it from there.
It might be tough things could get. Confusing now. Then but keep going. Seek forgiveness. You might discover the key, to peace and healing.