What was the worst punishment you received from your parents? What was it, why did it happen and how did you learn (or not learn) from it?
The very first time Grandma punished me severely was for something done in innocence.
Every evening, as the Sun dipped below the horizon, the gentle breeze would resonate with the soulful melodies from his gramophone and I would listen with rapt attention, enraptured by the sounds and its timeless crooning.
Apissi was a student in one of the Universities in the big City and he was visiting his parents in the village on one holiday. His prized possession was the gramophone, which though a relic now, was the only device through which we could enjoy music, only a few families could boast of one at that time.
He lived next door and I was captivated by Don Williams, his smooth bass-baritone voice and soft tunes, which was Apissi's favourite. This genre of music was so different from what I was used to in the past and I immediately fell in Love with it. That was how my life-long romance with Country music started.
I itched to go over to Apissi's, to loose myself in the rhythms of the songs, under the cacophony of the twinkling night stars, but I knew my Grandma would never let me go there, because of some kind of family vendetta.
An opportunity presented itself one evening when Grandma was down with a fever, she retired early and gave me permission to indulge in Moonlight plays with other kids in our neighbourhood, but I had other plans and couldn't let her in on it, I knew she would never agree so I schemed and sneaked out into the night, and straight into Apissi's room.
He was about twenty years of age while I was about nine, or not quite nine but a few months shy.
He was at first surprised to see me but that soon fizzled into delight that someone shared in his deep love for music, where others had regarded it "foreign and noisy.
That night he played volumes of his music and I listened to the awesome echoes of the soundtracks, "In the shelter of your eyes", "You're my best friend", "I recall a gypsy woman", "We should be together", "Turn out the light and love me tonight ", amongst others.
Twilight faded into the night and I must have slept off while listening to the music. The next thing I heard was my Grandma's voice, bellowing from the door. I melted literally because I hadn't planned on staying almost the whole night, just an hour was my goal.
She drew my ears as soon as I came out from Apissi' room and dragged me by it to our own house. Though very loving, she could be very stern when she felt her toes had been stepped upon or her intelligence insulted.
I tried explaining to her that I was bored and had just gone there to listen to music but somehow slept off. She had her own ideas, waywardness was one of them, she made it look like I went there to meet with a boy, how I wanted to bring shame and disgrace to the whole family through promiscuity, how the next morning she was going to bundle me back to my parents in the City. Didn't I know that by my physical contact with a boy, I could become pregnant and so many other vile words suggesting that I was in an amorous affair with Apissi. This didn't go down well with me.
The beatings didn't hurt me as much as the verbal punishment that reduced me to nothing but a "cheap and loose girl", an irresponsible one.
I cried my eyes out for days because I couldn't understand how a childish adventure could elicit such cruel words from my Grandma. A Verbal but very hurtful punishment that changed my whole perspective on child discipline. I grappled with a sense of injustice, questioning the validity of the punishment meted out without considering my innocence.
In the light of that incident of many years ago, I am a more empathic parent and adult, who would listen first, even in worst case scenarios. I would not prioritize punishment over understanding, I would not jump into conclusions too early.
The photo is mine.
Thank you @galenkp for the weekend prompt.
I am @edith-4angelseu and thank you for stopping by my neighbourhood.