My independence journey happened in stages. The first stage was the independence of budgeting and spending money given to me while the second stage was the independence of making the money myself.
I grew under my parents and I was pampered. My mother bought everything for me from clothes to school materials. In fact, anything and everything. If anybody gave me money, I would submit it to her for her to decide what I would use the money for.
The first time that I would have to decide on what to do with money under my possession was when I went to buy University Matriculation Examinations (UME, as it was then known) form. I was given money for the form, the transportation fare and a token for me to take lunch.
I went to get the form and after that, I decided to eat in a restaurant. I met two girls who were my secondary school mates in the restaurant. After exchanging pleasantries, I sat down and waited for the waitress to attend to me. The young lady came and gave me the food menu. With the amount with me for lunch, I could only buy rice without meat or any drink aside from the water that accompanies the food. I wanted to make an order according to my capacity but I was shy to do so because the attention of the girls was on me. I ended up ordering rice, meat and drinks with my lunch money and transportation fare. I trekked a distance of eight kilometers back home afterwards.
When I explained my experience to my mum, she sat me down and advised me.
"You are at the stage of being on your own now. Don't do things to impress people. Do the proper thing that is of positive impact to you irrespective of how others may judge you. Their judgment doesn't take anything away from you."
Since that time, I learned not to do things to impress others at my own inconvenience. When I got admission into the university, it helped me to stay afloat in managing money given to me by my parents. I needed to manage my resources and get the best out of it.
The second stage of my independence happened when I lost my dad in my 300 Level. He was the breadwinner of the family and the aftermath of his death wasn't easy. I moved from planning my resources to working to make money before planning on how best to spend the money. From my accommodation to my school fees, it dawned on me that I was practically independent.
I took responsibility for my life. I took up to menial jobs to raise money and pay my bills. I have written about this a couple of times on this platform.
I was forced to mature beyond my age in reasoning.
My younger siblings would seek my support in any decision that they were taking. This was in addition to their financial needs. The shoe was almost too big for me to wear but I persevered especially for the sake of my mother.
From then till this moment, I have continued to march on in independence.
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