Developing self Compassion is important in the contemporary world that is filled with so many challenges and ever increasing working tempo. It is a virtue that can guide us in suffering and in achieving personal growth, in being able to accept what has been given to us. However, in practice, most people experience difficulties with respecting themselves and being more forgiving and gentle towards themselves.
But let me say, that understanding of what self-compassion is and how we can apply it to practice is necessary to make practice complete.
In this regard, there is no better place to begin with self-compassion training than learning how to notice our own suffering. This can be a very difficult task because people often have a tendency to suppress or deny their pain or consider their feelings as worthless. However, we should always affirm the experiences and feelings within us, however insignificant they may be. To recognize that we are suffering enables the growth of compassion within ourselves, and allows for the process of healing to commence.
The other self-compassion guideline is that one should treat themselves as kindly as they would treat their friend.
This could mean that we treat ourselves kindly and avoid the use of negative self-talk of bashing ourselves. For instance, instead of saying, ‘I am such an idiot for making such mistake,’ one can instead say ‘I made a mistake but being a human, mistakes are bound to happen. ’ by adopting the above positive attitude towards self we usher in god self-esteem, self-love and self acceptance.
However, self-compassion also includes accepting that everyone is linked and that we all face similar challenges from time to time. It is normal to feel pain and suffer in our lives because everyone goes through tough times in life. We need to remind ourselves that we are all human beings, in order to find some connection to other people and be aware that we all experience the same things. This can make a positive difference and contribute to more feelings of support, understanding and of being connected with others..
Another aspect that comes with self-compassion is the need to overcome perfectionism and have overly high expectations. Something that is familiar to many of us is the ability to attempt to perfect yourself in various segments of your life and the consequent feeling of ineffectiveness.
Nevertheless, we have to realize that sometimes we are only capable of doing our best and nothing more than that as humans. The reason is that when we stop putting pressure on ourselves to achieve perfect results, then we can accept our flaws and weaknesses, and learn to cherish ourselves.
Last of all, self-compassion is also taking stand to be appropriate and avoid over stressing yourself . Most of us are guilty of always seeking to prioritize other people’s welfare and needs above our own, thus experiencing feelings of fatigue and exhaustion. But, it is needed to have self-care and self-compassion as a priority in order to keep our emotions and mind strong and healthy. This can mean avoiding people, avoiding certain activities or saying no to activities that wipe us down.
Therefore, it is possible to conclude that the practice of self-compassion should be viewed as the ability to cope with various challenges that life can present to a person. Understanding that it is alright to have pain, being kind to oneself, knowing that no one is shielded from suffering, forgiving ourselves for our imperfections, and appreciating ourselves can help cultivate love and acceptance.
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