For the first time since I became an adult, I wanted to wear makeup. Dark circles lined my eyes and they were red and puffy, as if I had been crying all day. Truthfully, I had been crying all week. My life didn't seem to be making any sense despite all the effort I was putting in and for the past 3 days, I suffered constant headaches. Thank God there was pain relief.
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I instantly began to regret why I didn't own any small makeup item like a concealer or foundation, anything to cover up how messy my face was looking.
I opted for a facecap instead and when I was convinced that my eyes could hardly be seen, I stepped out into the harsh sunlight. That was the first time I was leaving my house that weekend and if not that my friend, Emem, had promised to come over and drag me from my house if I didn't come over to hers, I wouldn't have stood up from my bed.
“You're busy throwing a pity party for yourself as if you were the first person to have a carryover. Besides, we all know that it's a mistake on the lecturer's part. He will rectify it soon”
Rachel Grae - Good Side (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)
Despite all of the assurances from my friends and even my favorite lecturer, Mr Assan, I wasn't still at peace. I had been graded with an ‘F’ in a course I knew I deserved an A but despite frequenting the course lecturer's office throughout that week, the result had not been corrected.
The lecturer in question was not even willing to look for my examination script or my continuous assessments booklet so I could see my scores.
That was not the only reason I had spent most of my time shedding tears. Sometime that month, I registered for a class in technical writing and after taking the basic class, I paid the sum of 10,000 naira for a masterclass and the very next day, I was removed from the Whatsapp group and blocked on all platforms by the organizers of the class.
It was as if my entire world had come crashing down. I was low on cash and just needed an upgrade in my writing skill. Getting duped was the last outcome I was expecting from that investment.
I knocked at Emem’s door and she swung open before I could knock again.
“Treasure!” She pulled the face cap from my head and the look of surprise on her face was unmistakable. “What happened to your eyes? Didn't you post a video of you 2 days ago? You were glowing sis”
I chuckled and went to sit on her bed.
“Allow me borrow the wordings of my latest favorite song, Good side by Rachel Grae,
You only see my good side
Only play the highlights
The parts of me I don't hide
See me in the good light
But this isn't real life
You're seeing me in disguise…. Rachel Grae - Good Side Lyrics
You've all been seeing me in a disguise my dear”
Emem shook her head and came to place her arms around my shoulders.
“But seriously Treasure, you shouldn't beat yourself up about this result. Mr Assan has said that it would definitely be sorted. Just give yourself peace”
I chuckled sadly this time and allowed the tears to come again.
“If it were you, Emem, would you go to sleep knowing that you could carry over a course you thought you were done with? And I had to get scammed at the same time!”
Emem had not heard about the technical writing class story so I filled her in amidst tears as she poured a glass of smoothie from her fridge for me.
“I'm truly sorry Tee, but you need to get yourself together. No amount of tears will bring your money back. On Monday, we'll go back to Mr Assan to complain about your result. And please, you have to stop pretending to be fine on social media while dying in real life. You don't know who can help you”
I wiped the tears off my face and returned the glass of smoothie back to her then lay down and began singing Rachel Grae’s song again to myself.
I understood what she meant when she sang, Not really what you see on your feed, I'm not perfect.
I truly was showing the world an entirely different version of who I was at that moment. I knew that I didn't want to post about being unhappy or play the victim card about being duped so instead I made a mental note to stay away from social media until I felt better.
And as I made this decision, I released myself into the arms of peaceful slumber for the first time since the weekend began.