Anger is something we all feel at different points in our lives, no matter how hard we try to stay calm. There are just some situations that push us to our limits, making it almost impossible to ignore or bottle up our feelings. But the way we handle anger differs from person to person. Some people prefer to stay silent, while others find it better to express how they feel.
For me, I am more on the expressive side, and I think I got that from my mum. Sometimes , i just keep quiet when i notice the situation is already getting heated and allow everything settle down before choosing to express myself. Anyhow it is, I just can’t keep things to myself when I’m upset. If someone does something that offends me, I feel the need to let them know, not in a disrespectful way, but in a way that makes them understand how their actions affected me. I’ve realized that when I try to suppress my anger and act like everything is fine, I only end up holding grudges, and that doesn't help me in any way. Instead of pretending I’m okay, I would rather talk about it, clear the air, and move on.
There was a time my friends did something that really got to me. Usually, whenever I was going outside the hostel to buy food, I would help them get whatever they needed. They could easily tell me, “Juwon, please help me buy bread,” and I wouldn’t even think twice about doing it for them. But then one day, I was really tired and didn’t feel like going out, so I asked one of them to help me buy something instead. To my surprise, he refused. I won’t lie, I was so pained. It wasn’t like I was asking for too much. I had done this for them countless times without complaining, and that one time I needed help, I couldn’t get it. It made me feel like I was being used, like my kindness didn’t matter to them.
At that moment, I knew I couldn’t just keep quiet about it. I didn’t want to pretend like everything was fine and then start keeping my distance from him. So I faced him and told him straight up that what he did was messed up. I told him not to ever send me on errands again because I wasn’t about to keep doing favors for someone who couldn’t do the same for me.
For me, that is just the best way to handle situations like that. When you’re angry, don’t bottle it up—let it out. If you keep things to yourself, the anger will only build up inside you, and one day, you might explode in a way that’s worse than if you had just spoken about it in the first place. Expressing yourself can even make the other person rethink their actions and realize they were wrong. Sometimes, people don’t even know they’ve done something hurtful until you tell them.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should go around shouting at people whenever you’re upset. There’s a way to express yourself without being rude or disrespectful. The goal is to communicate your feelings and clear your mind, not to create unnecessary conflicts. That way, you can truly move on, knowing that you didn’t suppress your emotions or let anger build up inside you.
Thanks for reading.
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