A change of mindset only requires one incident, just one memorable enough, and a person becomes a totally different human being. That was what happened to me one sunny weekend, a few years ago. I was cheery that day, relaxing and having a good time. I wanted a cold drink.
As I made my way downstairs past my sister's bedroom, I heard some weird sound coming from it. It was strange. I paused, did a double back to check on Debora.
I knocked once, opened the door slightly and peeped in. She sat at her desk sniffing into a handkerchief, her PC screen playing a movie. I was shocked simply because Debora never, ever cries. She was not a crier unlike me that bawls at the slightest sad situation or news.
I cleared my throat to alert her to my presence yet she didn't acknowledge me so I walked into the room, dragged a chair and sat beside her. “You're freaking me out,” I whispered. “What’s going on?” Debora covered her face with both palms and sobbed like her heart was literally breaking.
Oh dear! This was a mess. My eyes immediately started to water. I rolled my eyes and blinked to keep the tears at bay. I kneaded her shoulders to calm her down before my tears spilled down and we both end up crying. “Talk to me, Debora. What is it?”
“It's - It's….” She made some convulsive gasps while trying to tell me something. My hands progressed to her back, massaging. The motion was comforting for me, as my body had gone taut, expecting to hear the worse.
“Its….this world is full of so much injustice. Everywhere. Is it a bad thing to want freedom…and….and fight for it?” She mumbled. I paused massaging and she uncovered her face to stare at me. At this point, my mouth was agape in shock.
“Yes!” She nodded vigorously. “Look!” She pointed at her screen and I watched the final scene in the movie Gladiator (2000).
I'd always been told that I could be oblivious, which could be disadvantageous for me. The soundtrack playing from that final scene was downright heartbreaking! It was like the sound of a wailing woman, singing, calling upon the universe or the powers that be, to help Maximus Decimus Meridius (played by Russell Crowe) reunite with his loved ones.
That soundtrack was already playing when I entered Debora’s room but it didn't register in my brain that the song was melancholic and could be the cause of her tears.
“Debora, what are you talking about?” And that was how she filled me in, giving me a synopsis of this film and we watched it together. At the final scene when soundtrack Now We Are Free by Lisa Gerrard and Hans Zimmer started to play, I couldn't stop the flow of tears. It was a river!
This song is powerful! Lisa Gerrard's ethereal vocals are haunting, sharp and powerful, piercing into my heart, letting out various emotions like sadness and anger against the unfairness of life. The film director was smart to use the soundtrack at that exact point in the film.
As I was reminded that injustice is prevalent everywhere, I railed, questioning the PC screen why Maximus’ wife and son were killed out of Commodus' envy and desire to become the Emperor, and why Maximus was sold into slavery and forced to fight as a gladiator for his freedom at the Colosseum. I had more questions but faced the reality that these things happen daily and some people might be powerless to stop them.
The song gave me a new mindset and perspective. I was mesmerised as Lisa Gerrard sang to the point of wishing I had super powers to right every wrong in the universe and above all, take away the pain of loss experienced when loved ones pass away.
My cheerful feeling disappeared that day and was replaced not only with melancholy but also with the stark reality that everything we do in life has consequences, some extending into the afterlife.
Everytime I watch this film, I still cry during the final scenes, not only because of the film itself but also because Lisa Gerrard's ethereal voice has that effect on me. She took Debora and me out of this world to a place high up, to gaze down, understand the world better and see the vanity in it.
This song will always stay with me. And so will the lessons it teaches.
Image credit: Mariana Montrazi
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