Where are you I want you

in voilk •  2 months ago

    She grabs her phone and starts the conversation
    She writes to him without greetings or introductions
    No human being has ever cared about me
    Why did you do this
    When you moved my feelings
    When you gave me hope for love
    When you gave me a glimmer of life
    I have never held a man’s hand
    Or touched his face
    No one has ever put His arm on my shoulder
    No one cared about me
    I was not seen
    I thought I was invisible
    Or that I was erased from the eyes of others
    I was nothing but a wandering soul whose body had become lost
    With you was the first sweet feeling that made my body shudder
    You may think that you did not do anything significant
    But no, you revived a woman who was nothing but a rock or a tree or anything without feeling
    You gave me water to drink after a severe thirst
    I am the ugliest woman you will ever meet
    a woman who has been raped by life. On a bed of anxiety, obsessions, and mental illness
    a woman disfigured by medicine boxes and doctors
    I hate doctors
    I hate hospitals I hate myself
    Please just read
    Let me live some moments so that I can remember them one day
    Your response will inevitably be fatal

    She puts her phone aside Her eyes are full of tears. She closes them and falls into a restless sleep
    The following night
    and at the same time
    at one and forty-seven minutes after midnight
    you write to him
    Thanks for not answering
    I really wanted to tell you that I hate doctors. I don't like anything except the air that enters my lungs. If I could hate it, I would Please don't reply I know what you will say And I know that I am nothing but an animal accompanied by razors, scars, and blood But I have no friend other than them
    You saw my condition and looked at my appearance, which only proves that I am sick
    I apologize because I cannot control the muscles in my face
    This is my laugh and I cannot fake it
    Not because I don’t want to or that is my principle
    But because I am laughing. I really can't
    Just read
    without answering
    She takes her medicine, sinks her face into the pillow, and surrenders to the chains of sleep
    Once again
    Here it is, almost two in the morning She picks up her phone
    and writes to him again
    I don't know if I'm happy or not
    and I don't know if I'm comfortable
    but I have a burning desire to see you again
    but from afar
    don't come close to me
    just let me see you
    Do not respond
    Never for the above
    And do not write to me until good morning
    Just write the address of the place and the time of the meeting
    and where you will be silent then.
    He received the message He was not surprised at all It was as if he was accustomed to this He took his phone and answered it

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