As I sat enjoying the sea breeze that afternoon, I remembered the remnants of salt on my skin. The silvery gray sky, the fallen leaves, as if inviting memories I wanted to set aside. Ten years later I walk past the same spot on the same beach, a path I have traveled many times, now filled with deep laughter and bubbling hope.
Then I moved to a small guesthouse on the edge of the pier with a simple room with the smell of the sea wafting through the cracks in my window. Then I sat in an old chair to watch the waves chase themselves to the shore, whether happy or sad. My mind drifted to a name that was hard to erase from my memory.
He was the man who had become the center of her world. Their love was undefined, simple yet comprehensive, with the dream of escaping this small town. But the soul often encounters such events when hope is so close and fate pushes it away, leaving only doubt.
A few days ago I received shocking news from an old friend: Ryan was married. They had two children, a big house in another city, and everything seemed fine. It hit me like a cold wave, not out of jealousy, but the sharp realization that I was still trapped in the shadows of the past.
I was in a small market near the pier on a quiet moonlit night and saw Ryan. He was wearing a thick jacket, his hair was gray at the temples, his steps were slower than I remembered. Beside him, a woman stood, giggling, as if their world was perfect.
I was caught between nostalgia and reality. Ryan didn't notice me, and I didn't want to disturb him. An inexplicable sensation gripped me. It wasn't sadness, but it wasn't joy either. Just a deep resignation, touching the depths of my heart.
I returned to my place after they left. Turning on the small lamp on the table, I took out the notebook I always carried with me, and wrote: “May you be happy, Ryan. That is life, and I must follow my own path. But a part of me will always search for you, even if only in my mind.”
The waves outside the window sang; the journey of life continued. That night in that little ghost town, I let myself experience it all, fully, for the last time.
Morning came softly. Sunlight filtered through the thin curtains, bouncing off the gold bars on the wooden walls. Seagulls chirped in the distance, waves lapping against the pier. I put on my old wool jacket and walked out into the fresh, sparkling morning air, with the pungent scent of the sea.
I walked to the beach where Ryan and I used to sit at sunset. The large rock we used to sit on was still there, but smaller now, as if time had eroded it. I let the wind hit my face, absorbing every second that passed.
I opened my notebook, wanting to write, but the words were far away and unreachable. A deep longing enveloped me, something beyond words. The lyrics echoed in my heart, the echo of Ryan’s warm, happy laughter. But now the image felt like a distant dream, elusive.
When I opened my eyes, someone was standing in the distance, like a silhouette of the morning sun. I blinked, trying to see more clearly. The figure moved closer, and I knew exactly who it was. He walked slowly, as if afraid to break the still, silent morning air. Once close, he stopped. “Hello,” said a voice, low but gentle like the wind carrying an old story.
I fell silent, wrestling with my feelings. I wanted to ask, wanted to speak, but all that came out was a small smile. “Hi, Ryan,” I finally dared, my voice trembling slightly.
We stared at each other, two souls who had once been so close, now strangers. The silence was broken by Ryan. “I saw you last night, at the market. I knew it was you.”
My heart was beating fast. “I don’t want to burden you.”
Rian nodded and stared out to sea. “You don’t bother me. I just don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said. “We’ve chosen our own paths.”
Ryan took a breath, as if to protest, but he just nodded. “I want you to know… I never forgot.”
The words rang in my ears like all things heavy and tender. My chest tightened with the feeling, but I fought back tears. “Me too, Ryan. Me too.”
We chatted a little more, about little things, the weather, the changes in the city. But those things also meant something big in between, their bond that would never truly be broken.
When Ryan left, I stayed where I was, staring out at the sea. I put my notebook down that day without writing anything. Sometimes, I think, not all feelings need words. Some memories are better lived alone, like the calm, deep, undisturbed sea.
As I walked back to the inn, the universe seemed to calibrate the mood for this mix of feelings. My heart held a red burden, but hope began to grow, slowly but surely. I remembered every moment I had with Ryan, his smile, his laugh, the way he looked at me as if I were the only person in the entire universe. But all those memories were etched in my mind now.
I closed my notebook and walked around the small town. That every corner had a story and even though all my memories with Ryan seemed to linger like fog, I wanted to believe that there was beauty in the place I left behind. Walking expectantly as if hearing the soft strains of the song, “Someone Like You.”
Someone Like You ~ Adele ~ [Youtube]
The smell of from small stalls makes my stomach growl as I walk through the crowded streets. It is the sound of children playing vigorously in the park and it is pure joy. Warmth starts to return to me in the crowd. They mingle like a balm in my mind, reminding me life carries on with or without someone in its course, though part of me still aches for Ryan.
When the sun starts to set, I go to the beach. Standing there, I try to the large rock that’s become our spot. I sit there, feeling the sea air gently whip past my face, bearing a familiar saltiness. The waves crash gently, as though telling stories from the past and present.
Stars twinkle all around as they make their way in the night sky. I glance up, peace washing through me. In the low light, I know that Ryan may be gone, but the moments I shared with him will always be part of my life. Not that I wanted to delete them; I wanted to celebrate.
Back at the inn, I reopened my notebook. This time, the words started to come freely.
“Ryan, I will never forget everything we’ve been through together. You are in me always. You will never leave. But I also understand that life moves on, and I have to be brave and keep going. You'll always be somebody like you, but then I will discover who I am.”
Each time I’d start writing, I thought I felt a lighter. My burden weighing on my shoulders began to ease and elevate. I closed my notebook and smiled. It was time to forge ahead on this journey with fresh energy.
For the next few days I roamed the city and made new friends and discovered hidden beauty. Each made me release the memories that had been trapping me. Before long, I found myself feeling happy again.
One night I happened to meet someone who made me smile sitting in a cafe. He was an artist, with a questioning gaze and a contagious laugh. We discussed art, and life, and dreams that remained unfulfilled. And he was the song that made me feel like I was being resurrected every time we spoke.
Eventually I came to understand that while Ryan will always be a significant part of my life, I won’t live in his shadow. I can love those memories without being attached to the past. Each step makes me a little more whole, a little more strong.
And as I leave this small town, I carry a piece of me with me Ryan but I also carry a piece of me, a new me, I think, more prepared for whatever comes next. Like a song on repeat, I know he’ll always be out there, but now I’m prepared to seek out new people in my life.
I enter the future with an open heart, ready to write the next chapter of my life.
~ Love Seha76