Someplace

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It's another day I'm lucky to be alive
Even without much sun and
the sky concrete gray
I put my shoes and jacket on
Then my smile
Telling myself it'll take me someplace
Middle-aged growing pains
and imbibed numbing agents
proved ineffective against
distant hope's radiance
My hands look empty but they're not
Only dimly aware of the strength they've got
I could've died so many times
but since I'm living
I'll try to be worthy of this life
I know my mistakes and
misdeeds surround me
Carnivores that dart in and
tear away chunks
False friends who come calling in memory
Collecting favors they croon for
with the silkiest tongues
I turn them away
Put them aside
I gave in before and some light in me died
I believe in possibility
That it'll wink back on
before steadily beaming
by the next dreamy dawn
I lackadaise down the gravel lane
without betraying to the world
my heightened hurry
No particular destination yet
but today that won't deter the journey
Worry preoccupies
but this body's moved by my own mind
It lives to make its own luck
Determined to thrive