With the kind of environment I grew up I can boldly say I am not a social type, I am an introvert, I am someone who is always alone but that is not the kind of person I wish to be but my background trained me to be so.
I grew up in a family that did not relate with people, my father is a disciplinarian, and we were always indoors, No going out unless we were going to church or something warranted it, I attended a boarding house school and this exposes me to the little social life I have today but I know and I can not deceive myself I am not social at all.
This indoor lifestyle is telling on me now because it has become part of me, I find it so difficult to go out and have fun, I am always in my space, I do not pass my boundaries and I think I can adapt to such life even though that is not who I wish to become but my background had to bend me to be what I am.
When I was in school and others were talking about how to have fun during the weekend I was always exempted because they knew I would not follow them, not that they would do any harm to me but it was not my style.
This lifestyle made me lose so many friends, most people want to get to know me better but my way of not giving them a chance to be in my life always makes a turn for them, I always believe in privacy and I have no choice than to keep to the lifestyle I grew up with.
Am I comfortable with this lifestyle?
I am not comfortable with this lifestyle but I do not have a choice but to change it, I tried all I could to change when I was in school but I could not, I wish I could associate myself with others and enjoy life but I keep on remembering how I was trained and this always drag me back anytime I remember home.
Being a social person is not about partying all the time but always having a way of cooling off and having fun with others, I prefer to sleep in my room than to go out with friends, my major excuse is that I do not have what to wear when I have lots of clothes in my closet but to get up and dress is always a challenge for me.
Is there any way this lifestyle has affected my relationship with others?
Yes, this lifestyle has affected my relationship with one of my best friends, she is the one always visiting me, I have never for once tried to know where she is staying not to talk of visiting her often, she has been complaining about this my behavior and I neglected it, I still do not care about it, suddenly she stopped coming to my house and gradually we started losing contact until we stopped talking finally, I know I have to change this about myself because I was not happy losing her as my friend.
This is my entry for this week's episode of Hivenaija weekly prompt of #hn-wk36
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