All those little parts that come together to make a song. All those wires, hammers, keys and of course, the skill required to combing their movement to make something beautiful, to create something that makes the listener, the observer, feel something that they wouldn't otherwise.
If you could rewrite your story, what would you change and what kind of character would you be? What soundtrack would back your life?
I don't know what soundtrack, but if I could go back and rewrite my story, I would want it to be more thematic than it has been, less disjointed, less random pieces. I think it would be great to have a thread of commonality that tied my life together, something that I could identify with as being "me" and being proud of. At the moment, I think that the common thread through my life has been poor health.
Not exactly a superpower.
This is one of the problems with all of these superhero movies and content, and all the people posting their "best lives" all of the time - it gives a distorted view of reality. I don't believe there really are that many people having an awesome time in this world at the moment, but I do wonder that if people were able to go back and do differently, would they?
There seems to be a lot of people who say "I wouldn't change a thing", as if that is true. I don't believe it for a second - everyone wants to change something in their past.
So what is it for you?
I have always wondered what my life might have been like if I hadn't have got a chronic illness at sixteen years of age. It affected everything in my life, from my growth, to my relationships, my education, to my confidence levels. It was like everything fell apart all at once. And, while I might be stronger in some ways for it, I believe I probably would have found other ways to be as strong, or perhaps come out stronger. It makes me question what kinds of things I might have been capable of, what my potential might have been, under different circumstances.
Getting sick at 16, sucks.
It is such a pivotal age. Not quite an adult, but still having to make decisions that will affect the rest of life, and impact on just about everything. And, on top of that, it is a discovery stage, where a person starts to explore the world, ask questions, live by trial and error, with a much less obligation, and less fear. It is a time where a person starts to become who they will be in the future, defining themselves, as well as building some relationships that might persist for the next few decades.
It is not make or break.
But, it is definitive. So much of who we are today, has been built in those formative years when we had no control over our upbringing, and the developing years where we start to make the decisions for ourselves. We aren't necessarily tied to them for life, but breaking those patterns later, can be near impossible.
If I could rewrite my history, I think being healthy would be the number one thing - not because of the way I felt physically, but because of what I feel my health held me back from. It constricted me, lessened me, shrank me away into myself, away from the world. The amount of time and effort it took to get out of that state was immense, and it could have been spent on other things, other skills, other experiences.
What? I don't know.
But I would have liked to have seen.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]