I had sometime ago written about difficult times being stepping stones. No human being will be where they are currently if not for the challenges life brings at every stage of advancement.
When in school, it is the difficulty of keeping up with academics and coming on top. This leads to constant reading, research and paying attention in class. With time you become an expert in your respective field proffering solutions to life's problem.
When a graduate, we are faced with the hassles of securing a good job and building a career. We are saddled with the responsibility of financial freedom hence we see ourselves diversifying, acquiring professional certificates, learning skills and involving in projects to beef up our resume. With time one become the lead in the game, leading and everyone else following.
When of marriageable age, we are faced with the responsibility of not just finding a good and loving partner but a responsible father for our offspring. we come to terms with the fact that we are different from our own individual environment. We learn tolerance, we learn patience, we learn to be the best version of ourselves to keep mental sanity for the sake of raising our offsprings.
The situations are endless and I could go on and on talking about it, different aspects of life, but the summary of it all remains, Life comes with stages and each stage prepares us for the next. From the few scenarios I gave, we could see that for every challenge, there's a constant learning curve where we do something to elevate the situation and that is life we either upgrade or become obsolete. Nobody has ever achieved anything from life by doing nothing, that's not how life works. We just need to study our situation and start sourcing for solutions to mitigate the challenging effect. Life is formless, it is shapeless and a void. life becomes what we make of it.
Our present situation is as a result of our past actions and how our future turns out is greatly determined by what ever step we take in the moment. Often time people want to see difficult moments as punishments. if you see hard times as such, you will never grow nor be better. You will remain stuck in a time loop while the world moves on.
My candid advice to anyone going through life in the most difficult of ways is for them to take a break, pause for brief seconds and take yourself out of the situation. How do you do that? first ask yourself why am I going through this? what lesson is there for me to learn? what can I do to improve the situation? relax and meditate on these questions it is easier to solve a problem when we can identify the root cause of it. It is easier for answers to come when we ask questions.
At all times, we should be in communication with ourselves because the answer we seek lies with in but we first need to come to the realization that being depressed won't solve anything and we should clear our mind because clear mind brings clearer visions.
Everytime our mind wants to slip into depression, we should go the opposite direction. Engage in activities that keeps you lively. you could go for a long morning walk while saying positive things to yourself in your mind. Our body is a computer and words are programming. Whatever we say to ourself and keep in mind becomes a part of us and our ultimate reality so instead of picturing yourself as a failure, see yourself as one going through life's learning process with the sole aim to succeed. Always say to yourself we don't fail because we are not good enough rather we fail so we can learn more and gather the needed experience to succeed.
Like video games as we progress higher in game levels, the game becomes more challenging, stressful and no more fun especially if we do not study the hacks or pattern to master it there will be no scaling through and we'd keep repeating same level. That's exactly how life is, whatever difficult times we cannot overcome, it will take another pattern and come back to frustrate us.
DO I HAVE A MOMENT IN MY LIFE I AM GRATEFUL FOR NOT BEING 100% IN CONTROL? YES I DO
Every once in a while, its good to sit back, relax and be taken care of. Let someone else be in control for a change but for someone like me who hates disappointment, I'd still want to be in control of the situation to avoid unnecessary embarrassment but most times no matter how hard we would want to try, it's best to surrender and leave the fight for someone in a more advantaged position, this I learned the hardway.
When I got done with my first degree, my uncle who is a lecturer encouraged me to go for my second degree. He lectures in one of the Federal Universities so he told me not to worry about the whole admission process he got it all covered I should just apply. I applied and got the admission with ease. My uncle kept telling me to calm down and not rush the whole process that it takes time and he will handle it but then, I was coming from a private Uni where the whole admission process takes a day or two and if you delay you'd be left stranded. I did not want that so I ignored my uncle and went ahead rushing the whole process. He just kept quiet and didn't say anything to me.
Everytime I meet a dead end in the whole admission process, I will run to his wife to be complaining, she will turn my complaints to him but he won't say a word because he had told me to leave the whole process for him, na me just nor dey hear word.
After paying for my hostel accommodation, I got the special hostel because my Uncle was the hall warden there and he had already made calls on my behalf. I was given a slip to take to the hall chairman (the person incharge of room allocation). Again, my uncle told me not to bother that he will place a call across and get my room ready but I was insisting I needed to move in immediately and start preparing for lectures. He said ok and directed me to meet the Hall chairman.
I got to the Hall chairman and gave him my slip instead of him to assign me to a room, he told me there was no space.. ha! I was frustrated. What do you mean there is no space and I have paid for a space here? He said I have to wait for the old occupants to move out and it usually takes time. So what happens to me? how do I go for my lectures? He said I should look for who to squat with. Omo!(exclamation) I was going mad, how do I look for who to squat with when I don't know anyone. I went back home frustrated and complained bitterly to my uncle's wife.
When my uncle came back, she tabled the matter and from my room I could hear my Uncle roar you and your daughter (me) should leave me alone since she wants to be stubborn let her go and suffer. Ha! (exclamation) I heard it and I started sweating even when the room was cold. Eventually his wife was able to get through to him and he asked her to tell me to come to his office the next day. The next day I went to his office and as I sat down, he placed a call through to the hall chairman and asked him why haven't his daughter(me) he directed to him gotten a room yet and I could hear him from the other end say Sir your daughter? I did not see anyone as such and then my Uncle mentioned my name to him and he shouted from the other end Ha! (exclamation) sir I did not know Ese is your daughter o, she did not tell me. Then my uncle responded of course she will not tell you, not everyone likes to reveal their identity. Immediately he told my uncle that a room is available and if I am in campus I should come move in right away. Ladies, that was how I got a room and also lots of preferential treatment for the rest of my schooling year.
It felt really nice taking the back seat and have someone else do everything for you. A really uplifting experience that I am grateful for.
And that is it for my entry to the LOH contest hosted by @thekittygirl, above are the answers to the thought provoking questions raised by @danigada18.
Thank you for reading all that I have to pen down, your thoughts and contributions are highly welcomed and appreciated.