It's time for another #squirrelsunday
A young squirrel has just graduated from college and is asking advice from various professionals how to get ahead in a corporate career.
The Canadian goose is a quiet quitter. My advice to you young squirrel is to act like you are busy but run down the clock and get paid until they fire you, then claim discrimination after the fact.
The pig's advice is to look for a nice cushy office job that has an open tap and free snacks available to the employees. I don't care if you have to sell the most boring widget possible, you just need that snack bar snort snort!
The strange introverted turtle's advice is to work in the mail room and slowly but surely get promoted to CEO. This is good advice for a turtle who's lifespan is 100s of years but a squirrel would barely make it past sales associate at this pace before they kick the bucket.
The flighty grasshopper says to get any kind of job so you can take out credit cards as soon as possible then end up underwater. After all blurb gurgle gurgle its not too bad living underwater, its unsecured debt right? gasp drown...
The sparrow says to get a government job so you can boss people around with little fear of retaliation. Sure the job is super boring but you get to be pissey and mean all the time and get paid.
The sheep says to go to Oregon and join a hippy co-op. Sure they work you hard but the weed is free here!
The frog says to start your own business and gobble up all the competition in sight by brute force until you're the last amphibian standing. This swampy business is a bit too much for a fluffy squirrel and he was lucky to get away from the from without being swallowed whole.
The wild and free deer says invest all your money in Monero, sure you'll have the government's sights on your back all the time but if you run fast enough they'll never hit you. The next day the deer was seen being loaded into the back of a pickup truck headed towards the taxidermist.
Finally an experience corporate CEO. The hawk used tricky sales jargon and one liner slogans to communicate his message to the squirrel. Keep your eye on the ball, hang in there, go big or go home, impossible is nothing, the early bird gets the worm... After a while the squirrel had to leave as the slogans just kept flowing. Its seems to work for the hawk as he is lord of the lands around here for some reason...
Finally the squirrel had to head home and get an internship with the local walnut harvesting firm. The old foreman is about to retire and he will do an apprenticeship program on how to gather the most walnuts without the hawk CEO seeing him.
That's all for now, thanks for looking :-)