"Aphiemi," a Greek word that means forgiveness, is a very ambiguous word that people just say without having a deeper understanding of the word.
Aphiemi is a Greek word that is translated to the English word forgiveness; just as I said earlier, it is a word with a big and deeper meaning that humans don't understand. It is something that can destroy what you have built and also something that can mend a long-standing, broken relationship.
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Forgiveness means letting go of anger or resentment towards someone who has hurt you or done you wrong. Forgiveness is about finding peace within yourself and moving on in life, no matter the conditions of what might have happened. Sometimes, we have to forgive ourselves in order to move forward.
This happened some years ago, and it took me time to get over it.
Tobi was like a little brother to me; he calls me Big Bro, and I loved him so much. He has a big sister, whom I admire very much. Most of the time I visit their home, his mom is always complaining to me about Tobi not eating well. He was all about junk food, and this had made him have ulcers on different occasions. I was asked to talk to him like a big brother, but I was also just a young boy who didn't know the repercussions of Tobi's account.
Most times when we get together, I just jokingly tell him to make sure he is eating well; he would say, "Don't mind, my mummy, I'm eating well," and we would laugh right away. As time went on, Tobi was gaining weight, but the complaints about him not eating properly kept coming, which I found hard to believe, so I just gave up on the talk of "Make sure you eat properly."
After a while, I travelled for an exam, which was going to last for two weeks. It was the end of the first week when I got a call from his sister, telling me Tobi was dead. I couldn't understand what she meant—the same Tobi I saw before traveling? He wasn't sick, right? We hugged, and I promised to be back, so why didn't he wait for my return?
I started calling to ask what happened, and I was told different stories. He had a chronic ulcer; he had gained too much weight from junk food; he was sick; and this and that. If he was gaining weight from eating, how could he die from an ulcer? I felt guilty immediately; if I had spoken to him more seriously, he probably could have escaped this fate. After the exam, I couldn't come home because it felt like I was the one who killed him.
Why didn't you talk to him? Why didn't you tell him to eat more? All these questions kept eating me away. I couldn't face his parents for a while; months after his burial, I visited their home. When his mom saw me, she hugged me and told me it wasn't my fault; it was like she knew what I was going through. I cried a lot that day, and I had to forgive myself for the crime I believe I committed. After I had forgiven myself, I was able to move forward and visit them like I used to.
Sometimes, forgiveness is not only given to others; sometimes we have to forgive ourselves for something we believe we caused; if not, we won't be able to move forward.
Thanks for reading. I'm Fash, a man from Mars.
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