I've had some news this week that has made me reflect on life a little (it was nothing that affects my health - so I'm ok on that front - no need to worry !). I'm in my early 50s and have a birthday coming up, so these things all combined and triggered off some thinking.
[A pic take at the Museum of Scotland a few weeks ago. Something was needed to brighten up this post !]
A number of times I have come across some information/reflections from people who have retired or gotten to the end of their life, stating what they would have done differently looking back with the benefit of hindsight.
It has made me think that I should not wait until after I retire, or am close to the end, to think back as to what I could have done differently. Why dont I reflect now about the decades I've already had, and then use that to think about the time I've got left. What could I change now to make my remaining years better ?
So here goes !
Things I've done that I wont regret:
- Spending time with my family and friends. This ranges from simple things like just chatting over an evening meal at home through to nights out and having fun. On reflection this type of thing feels very wholesome and right, and so surely must be something I need to strive to do more off.
- Similar to the above, making time and effort with family and friends that I might not be able to see again (because they are ill, elderly, etc). I've actually done fairly well on this front in general, and have made an effort on numerous occasions to spend more time with people where I thought time might be limited. There are also occasions where I simply havent managed to do that, and now its too late. Again, where I've managed to do it, it has felt wholesome and right.
- Going to University (4 years). My time at Uni gave me some of my best friends and some of my best memories. Plus I also did enjoy the learning side of it, even if I wasnt the best of students (I graduated so thats OK !). The question is could I do it again at my current age ? We'll only if it wasnt pressured. If I was doing it for the pure love of learning at a relaxed pace that suited me, then I think I could (although I've no idea what I would study - maybe history, archaeology or something architecture related - something like one of those would atleast be interesting). It would have to be in person at a University. Doing it online remotely would not motivate me.
- Travel/holidays. I do enjoy traveling and holidays (vacation). I cant think of many bad vacations I've ever had. Yes they generally cost a lot and you need the time. But could I do more on a limited budget ? I think that could be possible. You dont have to spend cash to enjoy your time. Maybe this is my first retirement challenge. To come up with innovative ways to have nice breaks that are fun and dont cost the earth. Challenge accepted.
- Investing for retirement. I'm lucky enough to have probably done enough to be able to retire earlier than some. Although I wish I invested more for retirement in my 20s and 30s as opposed to wasting cash on rubbish. But I can still do more before I retire, and I do have a clear plan for that - so I'm good on this one.
[Some graffiti we saw in a tunnel in Edinburgh a few weeks ago that seems rather apt for the next list in this post - regrets !]
Things I should probably have done less of, or regretted:
- I can honestly say that I havent always enjoyed working (I know - big surprise right) ! I've probably ended up in the wrong career - not by design, but just sort of happened to fall into what I do. I'm ok at what I do (project management). There are some aspects of it I enjoy, and other aspects I really really dont. I've been working for around 30 years now, and I think I still would struggle to identify a job I would love. I'm sort of locked into what I do now because of what it pays. If I went to do something else, I wouldnt have the skills and experience to earn the same level of salary. But what if I dont have to. What if I work long enough in my current job, such that I could stop it in a few years time, and take on something else that I would enjoy, at a lesser salary for my remaining working years, say part time. The hard part would still be to identify what I would like, but to be honest - I think this is another challenge I have to accept. I'm getting older, but could I come up with a 2-3 year plan to identify and do something different for my last 10 or so years of my working life. Could it be linked to going back to university ? Who knows. But lets say I did do something different, that I did enjoy. If I then got to 65 would I look back and regret it ? I doubt it. I would look back and say - thank goodness I did that.
- Lived too much for the weekend, and did not make as much use of the time I had during the week. Again linked to work, I've often felt too tired/lethargic/lazy to do something meaningful with my time from Monday to Thursday after work (and sometimes on a Friday and even into the weekend). I probably could do more - especially linked to the items around spending more time with family and friends.
- Wasted time. Ie, watched crap on TV, played a game I didnt need to play, doom scrolled on social media - mostly just to pass time - ie, I wasnt even really enjoying what I was watching, playing or doing on social media - I was just doing it out of laziness, when I could have done something better. There are times when I do enjoy a good film or playing a game - thats ok. I think this is a difficult one because its about recognising when its happening, changing a habit and doing something else that is a good use of time instead, when I may not necessarily have the energy.
- Wasted time/brain effort on negative recurring thoughts. I have suffered from this throughout my life, and one of the things that has made quite a difference to this in the last few years is actually Hive ! I enjoy thinking about how I can invest my hard earned post payouts - what tokens I can buy, what projects I can delegate too, etc. These days when I'm having negative thoughts I will now often stop them and think about Hive/Investing instead - whats my next move, etc. I've found this quite fulfilling, so I must keep doing it
Things I could do better or more off:
- Look after myself better. That is both eating better and being more active with things like health checks. I wouldn't say I'm unhealthy (that I'm aware off) - but could I do more. Yes - challenge accepted,
- Retire early - if I'm continuing to not enjoy working and cant find something better to do.
- Stop assuming more money means a better/happier life. I'm not poor or rich. There are times when I enjoy spending money, and leaner times where I dont enjoy not being able to spend money. So to some extent I seem to be equating spending to happiness (although I'm not the worst at this). Could I break this habit and think about the things that dont cost so much that bring happiness and do more of those. Yes - challenge accepted.
[One of the first pictures I shared on Hive. I took this pic at sunset about 2-3 years ago. Things just all lined up in the sunshine - that seems apt for the next part of this post]
Plan and guide for life
When I started this post, I didnt see it going this far, but analysing the above is making me think of having some simple guidelines I can look at to remember how to live my life better, and then some plans I need to put in place for some of the longer term things. It looks something like the following.
Life guide:
- Actively spend more time with friends and family - especially those that I might not have much time left with
- Plan and do more with the weekdays (and weekends) - walks, visits, friends/family, travel, investing, etc
- Invest more for the future (and maybe dont waste as much on crap !). Also, have more 'no-buy' months, which have been helpful (thanks @shanibeer)
- Eat better
- Stop wasting time (now) - TV, doom scrolling, gaming
- Plan the next holiday now
- Pursue health checks actively
- Identify more of what I love to do and do it often (thanks @tengolotodo)
- Spend time on positive thoughts (Hive/Investing, next travel plan, next plan to meet with friends/family) instead of having negative thoughts
- Break the mental assumption that money = happiness
Life Plans (that I need to put in place):
- A plan to switch job to something I would enjoy more and works better for me and my time
- A plan for early retirement
- A plan to go back to University/College for enjoyment
- A plan to have more holidays on the same/less budget - what travelling can I do that costs less but has the same enjoyment
- Create a travel bucket-list, and actively work on knocking items of the list
- Identify more things I can do that I enjoy that dont have to cost a lot, or cost at all
I have trouble with my memory, so I have to write things like this down. I can now come back to this and run over the lists above and hopefully it will help me to live a better life. I have to say that I have found this exercise of analysing and writing it down quite useful. Sorry for the seriousness and somberness of this post, but it has been the act of creating this post that has helped bring this thinking together for me.
Also I'm sure I've missed things of the list - so I'm happy for suggestions, etc, and I can always come back and update it once a year or so !