Throughout the years,I searched for ways to express myself. Looking for ways to be free of feelings without showing it, without expressing it, without crying. I always hated it when I cry. How do you express what you're feeling? When you're so angry you don't know what to do? You want to scream but you can't so you cry? You seclude yourself to get better?
How do you make sure the pot doesn't explode from so much steam? You open the cover for some of the steam to be released, right?
It was earlier today and I was feeling very bad. I was so close to crying but I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to cry. My phone was switched off and I couldn't listen to music to feel calm enough to sleep. Wandering to and fro in my room,I stepped on a pencil and decided to draw. There,I just drew. I didn't know what direction I was going,I didn't know what I was doing cause I wasn't using a reference or anything but I just kept on drawing. Funny enough,I thought I drew an anime character with teary eyes.
Raising the sketch so I could get a better look,I smiled. Whatever sadness I pictured in my mind ended up looking like a thirst trap. There and then,I knew everything would be fine. I'm glad I was able to draw. I was able to free myself by drawing.
Some people free themselves of whatever they're feeling by dancing,singing,drinking,hurting themselves, screaming, punching a wall,etc. Now,some of these methods may seem absurd or are absurd but you'd never know what someone's going through until you're in the same position with them. And now,some people get trapped in whatever they're feeling cause they are unable to let go. They are unable to release whatever bad feeling they're feeling and this exactly, is why people drink or do drugs. They can't let go so they look for every means to dull the feeling. To dull whatever they're feeling so they don't have to feel it anymore.
There's no greater prison than one's mind
You'd ask why my character's mouth's sealed. When people cry at night,some of them muff themselves so they won't be heard. And that's what my character displays. Eyes that speak what doesn't want to be heard if that makes any sense.I guess it made more sense in my head
