These Days
These days I wake up tired, my being stretched, as each day, I push myself to the limit. It's not forever I tell myself, yet it seems that way at times. This morning after doing some care work, I made my way to another job, where I cleaned windows, floor to ceiling, with such amazing views. But after a week of rain, the sun is back and it feels hot, such a stark contrast to last week. Cleaning windows, with the sun shining on me, was tiring work. How much longer do I have to keep this up, I find myself asking.
I'm so grateful for the work, ever so grateful, but I feel so tired these days. But I keep going, just keep going. I'm so good at that, at pushing myself. I'll keep it up, while I'm able, until something better, something different comes along.
Trusting that something better is coming my way. Trusting. Taking a deep breath and trusting. But even more than that, believing.
Last night my youngest had an earache in the night, she was screaming out in pain, whilst I done the best to calm her. Putting warm garlic oil in her ear and massaging around the outer ear with CBD oil. Midnight passed, then one, then two. Yes I was counting the hours. At three, she finally fell into a deep sleep as I sang to her.
Then I was up 4 hours later. When my alarm went off, oh how I wished I was dreaming, but alas I was not. Time to rise with the sun. To shake off my sleeplessness and begin my day. Telling myself that I had enough sleep. My girls are all still asleep, just the animals are awake and greet me. I have my lemon water, then chaga tea and then I grap a banana to eat on the way. It's too early to eat, so a snack is all I need. The sun is rising and I love watching it hit the trees and light up my surroundings. Once I start walking, I feel so much better, my body wakes fully as I take in my surroundings.
After all that rain, there are so many wild flowers, just popping up everywhere. Splashes of purple, green, yellow and red, greet me on the land and along the roadside as I make my way to work. Poppies, Borage, Chamomile, Sorrel. Oh how my spirits rise and everything, in that moment is perfect. My girls sleeping peacefully and me doing what I need to do, surrounded by beauty. And there are mushrooms to be found on the land that we live on.
All photos are mine, taken today.
