As a newbie, I am browsing different community when I seen this weekly contest here in ladies on hive community. I am grateful to share my memorable experience in my mother-child relationship. Thank you @merit.ahama for the question for week #179.
***OPEN COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY OF HEALTHY MOTHER-CHILD RELATIONSHIP
Time is the most valuable treasure in every relationship. With quality time we spent together creates memorable moments. One of the relationship I keep on giving my best is my mother-child relationship. I have two daughters and one of the strategy I keep on working to reach their heart and catch their attention and affection towards me is open communication. But as a mother, sometimes, we have to face our battles and straggles in life alone. We have to deal by ourselves and avoiding to tell to our husband or to our children because we are afraid that this will affect them emotionally and we don't want them to see our weaknesses. But all of this is a lie and deception for us mothers.
I want to share the time when I am in my lowest point. The time I need to resign from my regular job to take good care of my father but after 3 months, my father died. While still in recovery process, they appointed me to replace my father in his position. I accepted it and everything is in good but still I am battling my deep emotion losing my dearest father. One day, my daughter caught me crying in the comfort room..I am not aware that she came home early from school. What I don't expect is that she talked to me and said I can tell her what is going on to me, what was the problem and what bothers me why I keep crying everyday but act normal in their presence. She reminded me what I am telling them that when times come that they will encounter problems in school, peer pressures or to the family, do not hesitate to tell honestly what they feel, what they hate, what they want to be done or anything they want to suggest and give their opinion freely. She said, they heard during midnight that I am crying in my dreams, many times they heard me sobbing. And they are worried so much about me because I act normal like no problem but they see deep sorrow in my eyes.
So, that time I told her everything that is happening even in my work, the pressure, the judgements, that someone trying to destroy me. I told her that I want to quit politics because even I jave a good desire, I am in the wrong environment but I am thinking about my promise to my Dad to continue and finish his term. If I stay, I know that worse things will happen since not everyone want change and appreciate new things happening in our community. If I quit, I will not be able to fulfill my promise to my Dad. My daughter said to me, "Lolo is in other life and I believe that he appreciate your works and at the same time he don't want you to be destructed just because of a promise. For me, you have done a lot in our community and you are a good leader. So, please Mama, listen to me, quit that position, choose yourself, choose us. Your health is not good just because of thinking other people. It is time for you to think about yourself. Take a break and regain your strength. Remember all the good things you keep on telling us, those words of encouragements, you have to do it, Mama." That moment I was speechless, I never expected that my daughter has this wisdom. I never expected that she knows what is going on to me even I act that I am okay. I never thought that my daughter give me words of comfort, encouragement and and eye opener that I have to wake up and stand up again. To cut the long story short, I quit politics, went to a vacation and then seek a new job but still fulfilling my desire serving the community with the people having the same desire.
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM ABOVE
Open communication is very important in molding mother-daughter relationship. Let us not be afraid or ashame to share our struggles to our children. They have this mindful soul that they only waiting for us to be open to them. Expressing our emotion to them will help them boost their critical thinking how they help us to overcome our struggles. And this will ignite our connection to them. They will be much affected if they feel we dont trust them or we dont need their opinion and their confort. And most of all, God speaks to us thru them.
I believe that all the words I heard from my daughter are words of wisdom from up above.
This photos were taken from my photo uploaded in my facebook account.