(Maya Angelou)
A few days ago I came home after a long day at work, and as always, I looked for my daughter to give her a hug and ask her how her day was. But that day, when she looked at me with her bright eyes, she blurted out a phrase that made my blood run cold: "Dad, I don't want you and mom to be old, I want them to always be the same", these words shocked me, hearing them from her, I tried to explain to her as best I could that it is natural that we all get to be old at some point, however, she flatly refused and started to cry, at that moment I felt helpless.
This reminded me of when I lost my father when I was eleven years old, I was still too young to understand why he was gone, and it hurt me to the point of depression, I had my mother, but she never knew how to explain this to me and neither did this fear cross my mind at that age, when I reached adolescence I began to feel the fear of losing my mother, since I was getting old, they had me at a very advanced age and my fear was justified, I had to say goodbye to my mother because cancer had reached her at 67 years old, it was painful and even though I was an adult, I could never prepare myself to let her go, her absence left a void in my life even bigger than losing my father, this is why when I looked at Alissandra after hearing her say those words, I promised myself that I would do everything possible to help her understand that life is a cycle.
Lately I have shown her the few pictures I have of my mother, and I try to talk to her about her, mentioning that she is well in heaven, I have treated this subject very tactfully, I do not want to touch the subject so she does not feel sad, I have simply tried to teach her that this is the natural process, with subtle words, explaining to her that even though our bodies change as the years go by, just as she is growing, we parents are also growing in a different way, but that we will always love her and that we will be very happy together as a family.
I know that she is still too young to fully understand these words, but I hope that with time, when she is older, I will continue to teach her this, which is fundamental, maybe in the future, when she is older, she will understand better what it means to lose someone dear to her, that growing old and dying is an inevitable part of life, but for now, the most important thing is that she knows that I love her and that I will always be there for her, no matter what happens.
I was not prepared for this moment, it is true, but it was clear to me that it would come, but not so fast, however, this leaves me a valuable teaching as a father, reminding me of something I already know, life is very short, and the only thing that lasts in time are the memories, that is why I try to create good memories of me for her, and just as I had mine with my mother, and that in the future she will remember me in the best way for when my days are over.
Without further ado I say goodbye friends, until next time.