I m already in the bed, i was triying to sleep while listining a podcast, but suddenly i received a video call from my childs and wife that are from yesterday outside, and i back to happyness, the mind changed suddendly to a good vibes feelings...
And i m writting this because i received it, else today i dont do the post, i was feeling a bit strange all day...
Yesterday i said that sometines i need time to be alone, time for me, but knowing that i m not alone, just phisically for a while, but not sometimes my mind overthink as always i do... and i can start to think stupid things in a bucle that its increasing the impact each minute in my feelings, and 99% of times thats this happens its bad, bad feelings that increseas to worst each minute until i get totally off.
Thats emotional dependency, maybe depression and a low level of self-steem. This feelings and sensations can change thousands of times in a simple day making me very... weak.
Until my 26 or 27 years i was totally the opposite, nothing and nobody could have an impact in my encouragement, i was a as ice, not emotions...
But things thats happened in the past years made me be as i m now, very weak, overthinking stupid things until y fall over, just like if i m trying to hurt my self.. them i can stay lot of days in these mood, until some flash back me to reality.
I was missing them so much, no sounds in house, alone in the bed, so much work today and very tired... but the strange silence is the worst.
Now inreceived the call and i m back good. Why i dont did the call? Just to no disturb them or fear to interrupt something just because i m overthinking and feeling sad...
I need to learn so much, and writting this every day helps me a lot to see the stupid things that very often my mind does with a target that i dont know and also stupid things that i do.
Maybe the problem its not the people, its me and the way in wich i want to see or interpret anything (i m not saying that the correct is like all people hah i will never say that)
Right now i dont know what i m writting 🤣
Tomorrow more, good night to all 😘