One of the things I value so much in life is peace of mind, nothing can be compared to it. Having peace of mind is very essential for one's mental, physical and emotional health, infact one's general well being. Even Jesus knew how important peace was that the first thing he said to his disciples when he appeared to them after resurrection was;
Peace be with you.
It's beautiful to have a friend who brings joy to your life, can be counted on at anytime and stands by you through the difficult times, but when the reverse is the case, you are done for. Such friendships drains the life out of you coupled with the stress you have to go through in trying to keep up with it.
I believe no one would want to be in such a friendship, neither do I. I'd rather be just by myself than in a friendship that will take a toll on me. My mental health is very paramount because there can't be health without mental health. Therefore I won't allow any friendship rob me of it.
Some years ago I had to cut off from such friendship. I met this guy in a computer center where I usually go to do some work. I do see him around without knowing that he was the owner so on one of the days that I went to print some documents, he was the one who attended to me. While he was at it, we started chatting and from there friendship clicked.
He seemed good and caring, so I thought, but he had another side to him which threatened my inner peace. He's the type of person that would call you on mobile phone at every one hour, even at odd hours and you must take the call at the first ring. If it happens that you weren't available to take the call then and later call him back, you'll just feel sorry for doing so because he will so spoil your mood with his accusing words. It's either he's accusing you of not appreciating his love, not being caring enough, or that you are with another man. And no, you shouldn't make excuses for not taking the call. The phone is supposed to be with you all the time because you know that he will always call. Even when you eventually pick up he won't have anything much to say other than wanting to know where you are and what you are doing.
Since I wanted a man, lol, I was willing to tow the line he wanted since friendship comes with some sacrifices. So I tried to always keep my phone close by, and will pre-inform him of anything that will make me miss his call. But I was struggling to keep up with that because it wasn't so easy. In a relationship that was supposed to be beautiful, and blissful, it was the opposite. I was suffering and smiling at the same time.
I could remember the day I came back from a picnic with some friends and the news that greeted me was that a man came looking for me and that he created a scene due to his anger that I wasn't around. I was so embarrassed.
I did talk to him a couple of times about his behavior, making him understand that it wasn't helping me or the relationship, but rather discouraging and putting me on the edge. He would promise to work on it for the better, which he tries to do but after some time, everything goes back the same.
There was a time I traveled home to spend the weekend with my parents which he knew of. We were communicating until I arrived. After like about two hours, he called saying that he wasn't feeling so well, slight headache and fever. I told him to take analgesic and then rest. Another hour he called, that it was getting worse and that his sister came to take him to the hospital. The next call was that he's been admitted at the hospital. I was worried sick all through that day and even the following day. It was after his discharge that I felt a bit relieved. I couldn't even enjoy my visit because of his sudden sickness. Only if I knew.
When I got back I went to see him and had the shock of my life. He was neither sick nor admitted at the hospital, it was a cooked up story. "Why did he do that I asked?" Could you imagine he gave me the most selfish reasons I have ever heard in my entire life;
He wanted to know how much I cared about him and that he has found out that I only pretend to care. That I should have come back the next day when I heard that he was sick and not stay all through the weekend. He claimed he would have done the same if it was the other way round.
Ha! I was gobsmacked, tired and couldn't move a feet. Like what did I just hear? It was then that it hit me that I was actually dealing with a maniac. What a damn scheming, manipulative and selfish being, expecting me to cut short the visit to my family in order to prove I loved him. That was the height of craziness and manipulation, jeez.
There and then I walked, and it was a very long one that never took me back. I needed a friendship quite alright but not this one, nah!. This one was a time bomb ticking to explode and I wasn't going to be there when it does. I was broken, but I healed and learned from the experience.
Thanks for being here....
Still the #threadsaddict 😂
Author's Photos
Posted Using InLeo Alpha