Different people have different ways to express their love, respect, and affections. Some give you time, good memories, or might be things as a gift to be remembered as a token of love. Personally I am not the guy who is good at giving things, I do give but not so comfortable with it as I get into dilemmas on what would be appropriate or not.
Let's begin with what everyone is describing, I had someone who loves to give gifts, hahaha. Actually yes, there was someone and she is still in my life, closer than before. During the beginning, when we didn't talk much or I used tl run away with my carefree lifestyles. She used to be the person who would prepare lots of sticky notes. She would patiently wait for my birthday, big festival, any happy occasions or any excuse to give me something. Why so? To make a difference and convey some thoughts towards me.
For example, she started with a watch. On that box, she added lots of sticky notes with glue, surrounding the box every way. One big page full of her messages, and all of them inside a shopping bag. So when it was the first time that I got gift from her, I was shocked to see so many colourful sticky notes. For the first time maybe, I had noticed someone is making so much effort to share some messages as I have already mentioned that I was a carefree person. Except for a few close friends I wouldn’t reply to anyone's text nor pick up the call, why? Was going through mental disasters.
So it became a habit for her. It's not just me for whom she was doing this, she has a fondness for making these kinda message cards, whether it's her sister or other friends, she happily makes them. I would gift her too, not with so much effort, I would order something, put it into a bag, and handover, over!! When I am not able to make some efforts it starts to bug me, like how can I be equal? Also, I am always uncomfortable receiving things from other people. I am so uncomfortable that often I keep my birthdate hidden so that no one gets notifications and comes to wish me, lol. It may sound awkward but it makes me uncomfortable when someone tries to make me feel especial doing extra arrangements. I get blank on how to repay this or respond.
So, once I strictly forbade such unnecessary spendings for me. She doesn’t need to give me gifts to meet me or to talk with me through those sticky notes. I knew she won't stop all of a sudden, but gradually it got reduced. I know, people do such things out of affection and care, for the people they care for, but I can feel them through behaviours as well, no need for going the extra mile. I know it hurt her a little bit, gave her the feeling like I am tryna ignore her but I was careful not to make her feel like that and thankfully our friendship is still alive, better than before.
So that's all from me, I hope it helps a little bit if you are seeking some guidelines. If you are a minimalist and want to participate in this week's #KISS blog ideas from minimalistliving community, read the Announcement Post.