Last week , I went for a friend’s graduation to celebrate the milestone with them as we’ve grown to become more like a family now. But, this graduation led to a whole week of thinking and asking people questions. I don’t like being in places with so many people- maybe I have anxiety but that doesn’t matter now. I walked into an office of a friend on campus with someone I came with for the graduation and in there were a bunch of other people.
During our 1 hour spent sitting in there and chatting, I met a man, he’d probably be in his early to late fifties and his eldest daughter was graduating that day. I could see how proud he was with his whole family as that was the same way my parents were also proud of me a year ago. My friend raised a topic which led this man to say something which has been on my mind for a whole week.
What he said was, ‘do you think my daughter would be graduating today if I didn’t get married’. This is a normal thing most people say when talks about marriage come up. But, he went on further to add ‘I had to sacrifice my education and other stuff just for her to get here today’. I was sad for a minute, but that’s what most parents have to do around here due to the conditions we find ourselves in. Things are hard in Ghana and it doesn’t get better.
Now, my thoughts. I don’t really know what other stuff this man had to sacrifice for his kids to have a good life. But let’s work with what we have. Personally, I believe that if he hadn’t put a stop to his education or sacrificed other stuff and just went ahead to do them in order to better his life, his would have been in a much better place than he is today which would mean his kids would also have more than they have now. I don’t know if I’m making sense.
So, in summary, it’s more like pushing on to be a better person for your kids instead of giving up on your dreams because of them. Everyone’s situation is different and so I can’t best tell if he had the means to still go to school while taking care of his daughter. Growing up, my dad was still in school when I was around the ages of 6. I remember very well because he would always call home to speak to me and it was heavenly when he came back home from campus. I wouldn’t say we were rich, we weren’t. Infact, things were hard. We lived in a family house, my mom had to work 9-5 and my dad was away working and schooling in some part of the world.
Today, my dad has graduated, we no longer live in a family house , we are comfortable and lack nothing. When I think about it, if my dad had sacrificed his education and other stuff just for me, I don’t think he would be in the position that he is in today to even render help to me in anyway. He’d probably even regret giving up his dreams of being a better person for me because today, after all the sacrifices, he still wouldn’t be able to do much for me.
The conditions matter a lot in situations like this but I believe that, things always work out , once you don’t feed the thoughts of giving up. There are some things you can put a hold on for the benefit of your kids, but for stuff that would mean a lot when they are grown, I think it’s best parents learn to also chase their dreams. But then again, you never know the situation, this is just my thoughts on the situation. Do share yours with me.
all images belong to me.
