Good morning and happy Friday!!! the weekend has begun and I'm already thinking about what to do these days, for now tonight I will meet with my friends, maybe to eat something together made at home or have a drink.
I woke up feeling cheerful and giving a new color and look to my blog, this is the first publication I'm doing, so I'm releasing them with all of you.
I didn't wake up with that plan, it just happened, sitting down and wanting to renew my blog. Something very timely to start with my entry, talking about what excites or scares me about the future.
I feel that the uncertainty of it is what causes both emotions in me. For in my present I have wishes and desires that I wish to see fulfilled in me. And to think that I will be able to live them, that they will come true, that it will be possible due to the effort I make, or perhaps an opportunity that I will not let pass is something that gives me hope and joy.
At the same time it makes me anxious, because of the possibility that none of that will happen.
That uncertainty of not knowing what will happen is mainly what scares me, because to this day I have had to live things that I would never have thought would happen and changed my life completely.
I studied and started working thinking that ready, I have my future secured, I can provide for my family, and I even started buying materials to build my house.
I didn't think that socialism would cause so much disaster and stop all those plans I had in mind, I ended up choosing to quit my job and start working on my own, and the purchase of materials stopped and I ended up selling what I had.
I never thought I would feel so much fear due to a pandemic, I never thought I would live through that, and listening to the news, the families devastated by the loss of their family member, facing an unknown disease, showing how fragile we can be.
We survived, yes it is true and I thank God for that. But it is inevitable not to think if something like this could happen again.
The present as it is today makes me feel good, my family is with me, we wake up, together.
I am afraid that the future, the one in front of me, will be a future without them in my life, without my family. I wish my future to be filled with their looks, smiles, and why not, the presence of a new love.
Being more transparent, I would not want a future in a house alone, with plants and animals. But it is already something that I think and I have considered activities if that moment is the one that is written for me.
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