As a child, I've always been one who was quick to anger. It was something I discovered from an early age and knew it was a problem that I needed to get the solution to. Luckily for me, I didn't grow up in an abusive home, the worse punishment my parents gave to each other whenever they were mad at themselves was the silent treatment, a trait I soon got to inherit because that was the only violent non-violent way I knew to get the message across that I was upset.
So that was always what I did whenever someone got me upset. I was so good at it that one time, I didn't speak to a friend of mine for more than two years in high school. To me, it worked because not speaking to them also prevented them from repeating whatever thing it is they had done to get me upset in the first place, so it made sense.
Unfortunately, that same character followed me to the university and then I remember during my first year, I had overheard some ladies giving their reasons why they like to hang out more with guys than girls, and one of their reasons had been because guys are very quick to get over stuff and just move on like nothing happened.
Hearing them say that was sort of confusing because I am a guy and I knew the last thing I would do was let things go that easily, but then I heard the same thing again, this time from my friends and I just kept on hearing it everywhere... That was when I had a conversation with myself that maybe my way wasn't exactly the best way to handle things.
Yes it helps in preventing the problem from repeating itself, but another thing it also does is create enemies because before you know it, you're not talking to everyone around you and it will start looking like you're the problem.
So I began to work on myself. I first started by teaching myself to be bold enough to voice out immediately I get offended by someone, rather than keep mute and instead have it at the back of my mind. I came to find out that speaking out immediately has this effect that automatically helps you relief the entire anger that may be piling up at that moment.
After that was a success, the next thing I needed to learn was how to forgive without them asking for forgiveness. I had to learn the act of letting things go and ever since I've learnt that, I no longer have beef with anyone and even when I do, we squash it as soon as possible.