It is the first time I will be writing at midnight, but I will definitely post during the daytime. I chose to write it at midnight so that I would not forget all of the details.
So it is 2:45AM here, and I just had an oddly satisfying dream, when the realization struck me. I will share it with you.
Earlier in the day, I hired someone to repair my cable dish, which had been damaged for five days. I was already tired of staying at home and checking my test results with constant worry and pain in my heart, so all I wanted to do was fix the cable so I could watch TV again. So I chatted with the cable guy. I told him about my condition (not the whole story), but he told me about how he rarely got sick except for ulcers, which made me feel like I was probably the only one suffering.
When he left after doing the repairs, I had my TV to watch again, but I was still thinking about how almost everyone in the world was in good health, but I was the odd one out. Clearly, I had the temerity to think this way. I virtually live around people (with the ones I know online) and I was literally the one only who was always the going through things, (shit health, family losses and many things). I was watching TV at the time, but I quickly returned to mopping, and the pain returned.
When it was almost 7, I picked up my Bible and walked for over 20 minutes to a church program; I did not feel like I was trekking because I was preoccupied with so many depressing thoughts. Then I went to the church, and we finished the service at 8. It was the same thing: I walked home in horror and pain. I remembered someone who I thought might need a call, so I called him, but he did not answer.
He is a fun guy going through some really terrible horror, but he has his family. I had not spoken to him in a while, and I was worried because he had not returned my call in two days. But I got back to thinking about my problems.
I got home and ate dinner, and for some reason, I decided to open Tiktok to check a video I saw on a lady's Whatsapp status, for which I have her phone number on Hive here. However, I did not re-watch the video I wanted to. You know how tiktok works: it shows you random videos of things. I had not used the app in weeks or months. So I decided to spend some time looking through these video suggestions, and I came across this ridiculous "of course" challenge, which is mostly done by Nigerians.
But this time, I saw people doing it for various reasons. Turned out there were people who did it to show their disabilities. I saw people who did it for medical conditions that I had never heard of. I saw people at the end of dilapidated ERSD (End Stage Renal Disease). I mean, I have mild renal injury, as evidenced by my urine tests, but I just had to see those who most likely did not have the opportunity to put theirs in remission when it was in its early stages.
I was not happy after seeing these videos, but due to tiktok's morbid and diabolical retention abilities, I went on to watch more. I stopped after more than an hour. Then it struck me! I felt it was a spiritual ministration, but I ignored it and went to bed; it was not until I woke up at midnight, after reflecting on the dreams I would had, that I started to understand.
I had a strange dream in which I was running away from someone. She appeared to be a powerful person, but I had a guy bring his car and help me flee from this lady and her entourage of military personnel and siren cars. They chased me with motorcycles, police, and foot soldiers. I did not even think about the crimes I committed, but they chased me like a criminal... and then this guy appeared, brought his car, and it was like one of the scenes from "Fast and Furious."
Fortunately for me, our car was able to escape thanks to a cunning move by my driver helper, and we eventually found a hiding place in the home of a family member. However, after I thought we would escaped, this guy informs me that the women and their police escort are now outside. Obviously, someone must have sold us out. I felt regret, pain and betrayal. I attempted to run into a house and lock the door, but a family member began to break it open from the outside. It hit me again.
She was probably the one who sold me out. After a while, I lashed out at her for what she did to me, and I felt the pain of betrayal. (It was like that type I felt after my brother's passing) It was strong and it didn't feel like a dream. Even after I awoke, I could feel the tears. When she finally broke down the door and brought me out, I took off running. Who was I kidding? A sickly tiny man fleeing armed forces with military training.
They got me without breaking a sweat. My driver friend was probably in the shadows, planning how to assist me. They carried me like an ant, and all of my attempts to flee failed. I was paraded through the street, and while I was there, my driver friend began to raise a chant, and after a while, the street joined in singing that chant, and attacked the military, and the military lost the battle, but they were able to rescue me and take me away.
During the squabble, I was able to see the woman who ordered my attack, and with all the rage I could muster, I gave her some brain damaging slaps. The streets rose up and began to celebrate me, and I awoke. It was not me; it was probably God speaking in his own way. I had not felt such conviction in a long time. My dreams were always depressing and scary, which is understandable.
When your physical life is going through turbulence, your dreams always reflect that. However, this one had a divine touch to it. I thought the message was clear: my condition was bad, but it was not the end. I began to understand the desire that drove me to watch those videos on tiktok. I thought the message was this: You are down, sick, depressed, have no friends, a chronic condition, metabolic dysfunctions accompanied by fear and uncertainty, no family, and endless nights of tears and pain, but it is not over. The dream fit together, and I was convinced that it was the king of kings, the one who never sleeps but created sleep. The one who says we should put our trust in him. This post is already too long, so I believe I should continue in another post.
Interested in some more of my works
Is it Easy To Make Money?
Nigeria: A Unique Business Market & Industry
Virtual Bank Apps In Nigeria: An Experience Of Gamification
How To Find The Next "BIG" Meme Coin
Personal Finance: Achieving Intentional "Saving" Goals
Playing The Survival Game: Human Nature In Introspection
"Un-PAYING" The Debt You Owe
