What does fate have in stock for us?

in voilk •  3 months ago

    My name is Akudo, and I’m 23 year old Nigerian female. I’m dark in complexion ,and petite in figure, I also possess breasts that are quite big for my size. Her not relaxed hair (virgin hair) was quite full and too soft. I am strong or I think I am at least. I thought about a lot of things but never did I think about marriage, not yet at least. I consider myself selfish sometimes because I don’t want anything to come between her and her dreams. I don’t really like my body but I don’t t want it to get worse, marriage does that to women, makes them look shapeless. I have hips that are not so obvious only if you looked closely depending on what I am putting on at that point. My waist is not as slim as I want it to be. I have lumps of fat at each side of her waist and I think my waist is too wide that was why my hips are not so obvious. I also have stretchmarks and I hate them especially those ones on my breasts. I love fashion but somehow learning how to sew proved difficult. What I never thought about seemed to be coming sooner than the things I thought about. Marriage. I couldn’t graduate from the University when I was supposed to because I failed a course and now my parents are talking about marriage all of a sudden. What happened to “make sure you have something doing before you get into any man’s house”, Mommy always sang that like an anthem to us.I’m sure she won’t remember that now. Infact when Odinaka brought up the idea of getting married to Andrew, who is her husband now, mommy made sure Odinake felt that she was settling for less because they were trying to process her immigration to Canada which was eventually not successful. Is life not too funny? How fast people change. Mommy called me the other night to tell me about a man who is a nurse in UK, and his interest in taking me as his wife. In her words “ he wants to come to Nigeria towards the end of the year, get married and take his wofe along with him when goong back go UK”. I guess she was excited about the fact that he was a nurse in UK. That sounds like music to most Nigerian women ears especially our mothers. So I stared at my phone like I would have stared at my mom if she was in front of me. I stared at my phone with disgust. I was angry and I didn’t even know why, she was just doing the exact thing most African mothers do, so why was I getting upset. I didn’t know if it was because I felt she didnt have any plans for me after school, afterall, Odinakachukwu was married, Kambili was in Canada studying, so what does she have to lose asides an extra mouth that she has being feeding, or if it was because she didn’t bother to ask me what my plans was after University and how she could be of help, probably she was tired of helping and wanted to pass down the responsibility to someone else or if it was because i was afraid of her, my mother. Fear is not the actual word but it’s something close it, there was just this feeling I have towards my mom and I don’t like it. Then I thought about my body, I imagined the long and wide stretchmarks I will have all over my body when I’m eventually pregnant and how ugly I will look due to the change in hormones. I wasn’t happy about that, it didn’t just feel right. “Hello, Akudo, are you there”, “hello”, “hello”. I felt my phone vibrating after some minutes of absolute silence and I picked the call again, and she said “ Hello , Akudo, did you hear what I said”, she asked, “ yes I did”, I replied. I didnt have a close relationship with my mum, I wasn’t so comfortable around her for too long. I didnt like her calls too but I picked this one even though I didn’t want to. “What do you have to say about it” she asked, “Mommy, I have plans for myself after I graduate, I’m not interested in getting married now” I said it as calmly as I could. “ I want to be a fashion designer, I love sewing and I don’t really like that man’s sister, I feel there will be some form of similarity between them. That was an excuse I thought she was going to buy because she didn’t like the woman too. She always complained that the woman enters her kitchen whenever she visits without letting her know and she also said she eats too much. I often wondered where all the food went to if she truly eats alot because she had tiny breast and buttocks and she was really slim. But Mommy was the same person that discouraged Odinakachukwu from getting marrried and now she is trying to fix me with someone. So that excuse may not have serve its purpose, I mean, its a nurse we are talking about here and he is also based in the UK, that’s music to a Nigerian mother’s ears. “ So what are you saying, are you saying I shouldn’t give them your number “ she asked, “No please, don’t give them my number” i replied. “ Alright” she said and ended the call. My phone vibrated again few minutes later, it was Kambili from Canada. Kambili was the closest to my mother out of the four children my mother had, I was the third child, Kambili was the second child, Odinakachukwu was the first child and Akubundu was the last, a boy. People said Kambili looked my mom and she was really beautiful, I couldn’t see the beauty they always talked about, maybe it was because she was my sister but she light skin so she was attractive. Kambili almost always got what she wanted so I considered her as lucky. I picked the call and didn’t say anything. “Hello, Akudo”, she had a deep voice that didn’t really suit her face, “ How far” I replied, “ l dey”, she said, “ Did mommy call you “ she asked straight to the point, “ yes” I answered sharply. “Aku”, that is the name she calls me whenever she wanted to tell me something important or she wanted to get something from me. “ I know this is not the way you planned your life” she kept talking and the conversation lasted for a while. I never really took Kambili serious whenever it came it money and relationships. The way I have seen her handle the both of them didn’t encourage me to, so I just listened without remembering the last words she says before she said another. “ So just talk to him and hear what he has to say, it’s not a do or die affair” she said towards the end of the conversation. “ Alright, I’ve heard you” I replied, “ Ok then, take care of yourself, bye “ and she ended the call. Birds of the same feathers, I muttered. Mommy already sent the man’s number and she saved it as “Chinonso, my in-law”. That angered me more. Then a note came under the text saying not dismiss him but hear what he has to say first. Then she asked me if she could give him my number and I yes. I was tired already. I dozed off after that. On my way back from the gym the next morning, my phone kept vibrating. It always vibrates and almost never rings out, I liked it that way because I don’t really like music and it startled me anytime it rings out loud. I knew who was calling. He was the one. But he stopped after calling severally. I got home and headed straight to the bathroom to wash up because I was soaked in my sweat. While the water from the shower splashed through my hair and down to the other parts of my body, I thought about all the mean things I could say to this man so he won’t want to even talk to me but on a second thought, it wasn't his fault, he was just innocently looking for a wife, so I had to think of a way to make my parents suffer for it since they couldn’t take no for an answer. So I thought about how I would lead them on till we get to the altar and the priest asks “ Do you , Akudo, take Mr Man to your lawful wedded husband”, and I will say no, I will be so happy to see the disappointment on their faces. But then again, that wouldn’t work because I had to marry him traditionally first before going to church. Nobody will ask you that on your traditional wedding day, they will all assume that you have accepted to marry whoever you are meant to search for in a crowd of men putting on similar attires and calling different pet names to have your attention, and when you finally see him, you serve him the palmwine your have been dancing with in your hands and that way you are traditionally married. The continuous splash of water on my hair from the shower brought me back to reality and l put it off and dried my body with a towel and went into the room. My phone was vibrating once more and it got me irritated, why won’t he stop calling. “Hello” I said with my tiny voice after picking the call , I heard him speak igbo fluently to someone else on his end, he voice sounded like one in his mid thirties. That angered me too. Everything about him was making me angry. I felt the age gap was too much, I assumed that he has been looking for someone to marry, all to no avail so I had to be the scapegoat, with all these thoughts going through my head, I didn’t know when I shouted angrily “…………… To be continued.

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