Common Marriage problem Husband and Wife Encounters
Marriage is a good thing; and in my culture, if a man is not married, it is believed that such a responsibility. They believe a married man is responsible because he has responsibilities.
It is very easy to hide your behaviors during courtship; you may not know all the attitudes of your spouse; in fact, as they are together, they either change for good or bad.
Newly married couples seem to be very happy at the start of their life, especially during their honeymoon. After the honeymoon, if the marriage is not well established, it may not last. That is the reason many marriages collapse; the spouses divorce after a few years of spending together.
I read about a wedding in which the husband divorced his wife after 24 hours.
But I thank God mine is not like that but I just have little challenges.
Well! I believe I was the cause of the problem in, the reasons are;
Poor of Communication/ Lack of communication: on Tuesday 12 March 2024, I was shortlisted for a program of which it took me 3 hours journey to get. After we finished the program by 2:00 pm; i boarded a bus to my destination.
I was not happy because it took me 2 hours to get a bus to my destination.
I did not get a direct bus to my destination which incur more expenses. I spent beyond my total amount of money for the journey.
When I was on the bus, I was displeased and tired but my wife called.
I answered her, told her that I was on my way.
After 2 hours, he called me again to check if I had reached my house. I saw her call but did not answer it.
Well! This is it, she rented an apartment in an environment where she works. Therefore, she comes home every weekend.
I went out to get food from a restaurant in my street; I left my phone at home. By the time I got home, I saw more than 6 missed calls from my wife.
Instead of me calling her, I did not call her up till this moment.
I already knew that she is not happy with me right now because she was expecting a call from me of which I didn't.
I told her sometime ago that the best way to reach out to me is to send a message using any medium- social media, mail or direct messages.
One thing that baffled me most was that she knew that I don't pick calls all the time, but I don't know why she gets mad at me like this.
Since I am leaving the office tomorrow and traveling back home; I will buy her favorite gifts and give them to her tomorrow.
This will make her forget everything.
Whatever you are doing, communication is very important. Communication is one of the tools to drive change. As a spouse, I did not know what she was about to tell me when I refused to pick her calls.
A man said he had hitch free marriage, he said, “I have seen husbands and wives in the worst state but my marriage is not like that. Though, there is no marriage without misunderstanding; but my marriage is sweet”.
But people said, it is not possible not to have a fight with your spouse.
He said, “we do have misunderstandings but we never fight. This is 42 years of marriage. I never had a course of beating my wife since we married”.
Why is it like that?
He said, “because we have cleared communication. We communicate everything and sort out the bad ones. There was a day we had a misunderstanding, after the whole thing, around 10:00 pm, after our evening prayer. She brought the issue back, and we discussed, laughed, and got over it. I knew she would talk about it, since I was guilty. I begged her and the whole thing died down.
“Believe me, the issue we discussed that night has scattered many marriages but in my marriage, if you are guilty, you have to accept it without excuses or blame your spouse for it. Even though my wife provoked me to say something, I have to accept that I'm guilty because I started it. Then, we don't need to hold back against each other again. We discussed everything, whatever we do that is not good. Anyone guilty would accept corrections. Our marriage was built on truth and sincerity. I never discussed whatever my wife did to anyone including her family and my family. We communicated everything between ourselves without argument.
“Through communication, my wife expressed herself, what is bordering and her intentions. By the time she poured out her mind, she became happy and felt something that was bordering her left her. I believe that is how women are designed by God. That is the reason you should allow your wife to communicate whatever that is bordering her to you as her husband”.
The mistake I made was not allowing her to express herself and she became angry.
I stand up for success, and success is not achieved by merely making mouth, No room for laziness, no room for idleness. Success comes to the people who are desperately and consciously searching for it. When it seems unsuccessful or you smell failure around you, never discourage yourself from being successful.
“Discouragement and failure are the two surest stepping stones to success.” - Dale
Thank you for reading my post.
All the pictures in this article are mine.