Interesting topic at hand, for someone that feels that my parents gave me too much space. Maybe some children are complaining of lack of space, on the other hand, I feel I had too much space.
For someone who went to a boarding house. I just knew the moment it seemed I was becoming self aware, I was whisked away to a boarding house. I don’t know why mum and dad sent us to boarding house but I and all my siblings went o boarding houses. The six of us as a whole. I felt I grew up outside of my parents good gaze.
I don’t know if it was a good thing or not and after I came back from boarding house, daddy died. Spent the next two years trying to understand myself and then college came calling and since then I’ve never been home. I’d say I only spent a quarter of my life at home with parents and somehow I don’t even know what parental shenanigans looks like.
In as much as they gave me too much space, am glad I turned out right. I don’t believe in helicopter parenting too as it can be very detrimental to the child’s growth and mental wellbeing. Micro managing the child and being overly involved in your children’s life would lead to resentment. Most parents do this because they want to provide a better childhood for their children than theirs but they end up ruining the relationship with their child.
Well as parents, it’s good to create boundaries with our children to find the balance. One of the ways to do this is to ensure we create a good bonding and beautiful relationship with our children. We should be their friends so that they can be able to confide in us and in that way let us into their world freely without feeling threatened.
Then we shouldn’t be too pushy with getting infos from them and we should learn to be patient with them during their formative stage. Someone like me, I wasn’t close to my parents and they are not my friend even though dad is late. Mum now tries to tell me I love you at the end of our conversations but it still sounds awkward.
She didn’t start early. I would rather confide in my aunty than her. I don’t even want to go home cos I’ve lived mostly away from home all my life.
If you are friends with your children and not too judgmental, that singular bond can bridge the bond between been too intrusive and been too distant. They would always want to share details of their life with you and then you can comfortably administer the right advise, counsel and discipline to them. My candid thoughts.