Real happiness is when you see your child happy!
Yesterday, we dropped my little sister off at her school at midday. It was Friday, so they only had a half-day class. Since no woman at home can drive the car, lucky us that our neighbor is my little sister’s classmate. The mother of her classmate is the driver of the car. They agreed that she should pay 1500 pesos monthly for gasoline and she would use it to drive her two kids and my sister to school. The deal is cheaper because she is a jobless single mom. As the car ran, we shared our personal stories of how we ended up into a single mom.
There is just a man who is uncontented with one woman.
Just like a habit, I brought my baby because she didn’t sleep at noon. I thought that we just stayed in a car while waiting for the kids to get done in their class, but they weren’t done yet in their meeting. We should wait for one hour. We knew that my baby would be bored waiting for an hour inside the car unless it ran on a bumpy road because she would just sleep. So we went to the mall with only 200 pesos in my wallet. What we wore at home was what we wore at the mall. My mother was just wearing a flip-flop, t-shirt, and shorts without makeup. Even if we looked like we were just at home, we still went to the grocery to buy distilled water for my baby. My little sister included junkfoods in my cart and I was nervous if the total amount exceeded more than 200. I remember when my little sister was 9 years old and I brought a little money. The items we put into the cart had exceeded more than the money we brought. We caused a lot of inconvenience to the people in the queue after us because the cashier needed to call their manager before it could be fixed. It was the most embarrassing feeling ever.
While we were on the way to the exit, we stopped for a few seconds at the carousel. My baby pointed at the horse saying, “Horse, neigh, neigh, neigh.” I just laughed because she remembered my teachings about the animals and their sounds. My mother wanted to ride at the carousel with her, but she was afraid to feel dizzy coz it was spinning. I couldn’t also ride on it because I have lightheadedness these days. It started when I got injected last February 21. It’s a birth control injection and I don’t know why it came to my mind to be injected because I have no man. I’m just scared to be pregnant again. Crazy afff. For two weeks, I had rashes and itchiness all over my skin. It was just a minor rash but I still took up antihistamine. After that, I’ve been encountering hair fall recently and palpitations.
My baby enjoyed riding in a rocking car. It’s her first experience and she was curious. It costs five pesos only. Her hair was messy with a big cardigan. Who would have thought we would roam at the mall? She needs to be assisted at her one year old age of course. Now I finally experience how my parents feel about seeing their children enjoying themselves. Even if they’re tight on budget, as long as they see their kids happy, they don’t matter how much they spend. They do anything selflessly. I was happy watching her at the racking car, but a little bit anxious that I couldn’t provide anything she wanted right now that I couldn’t work. This is my problem because I wanna work abroad, but I’m afraid who will take care of her. I don’t trust anybody when it comes to raising my child. It’s easy to hire someone to watch her over, but what if she has a tantrum, how can she be handled? Nothing compares to a mother taking care of her child. No matter how stubborn the baby is, a mother can understand because she knows her more than anyone. How about you? Wouldn’t you be anxious if you relied on other people to take care of your child? Right now, I’m not ready. Maybe when the time is right.
Thanks to all my friends @olivia08, @diosarich and @antonette for helping me coming back. Thank you @asean.hive family for the support and @justinparke.