Embrace Change

I tossed and turned, my eyes shut tightly as I tried to get myself to sleep. I rolled from one edge of the bed to another, trying to find the right spot, but it was no use. I hadn't had a decent night's rest in days, and it was starting to take its toll on my mind, soul, and body. My heart started beating fast. My body was cold, yet warm. Warmer than usual. Heaven knows I wanted that sleep badly. It was the only thing capable of bringing sanity back to my mind. I was losing it. I wished I could be transported to another world, one free from my pain and worry. But my genie remained silent, unwilling to grant my wish. I wondered if I had somehow offended the genie that lives in the skyscrapers I built for it in my head. How often do mystical beings get offended? With a heavy sigh, I gave up on the fight. No matter what I did- how many times I tossed and turned, the genie was so bent on not granting me my wish. “

I shouldn't let this get to me," I muttered to myself as I stood up to clean my face with some cold water. But as my feet hit the floor, I noticed something out of the ordinary- the floor was much colder than usual. It was as if my feet were placed in a heap of snow. Not that I have ever touched snow, but it is similar to what I imagined snow to be like. As I stared at the floor, my mind wandered off. I could hear her voice. It sounded distant. “Favour, you cannot always be smart. Embrace change. Don’t always try to make people feel dumb.” Although the voice was distant, the words sounded loud and clear.

A few days before this time, I had a heated argument with one of my close friends. I'm skeptical about allowing people into my life. Before I call you my friend, you have to tick my “friendship” boxes. SHE ticked my friendship boxes and in no time, we started making memories. She came into my life when I needed someone. When I needed a friend. Although we were so cool, one thing always made us quarrel- we always had contrasting opinions. We’d always argue about different things; food, life, movies, cartoons, presidents, skin type, gender, and so on. Just name it. I remember the day we had that argument about which animated movie was better - Frozen or Rise of the Guardians. As usual, we had contrasting opinions and the debate got overheated. We couldn't agree on a winner. I've loved frozen since I was a kid. I love the songs and storyline so it was normal for me to pick Frozen over Rise of Guardians. Due to reasons best known to her, she couldn't agree with me.

Our greatest argument crept in. The argument began innocently enough, with a friendly discussion about a topic related to my friend's field (the course she's studying in school.) But soon, things took a turn for the worse. The argument became heated and we started raising our voices. My friend insisted that I should defer to her opinion since she was the expert in the field. But it didn't feel right to back down. It didn't feel right at all. Soon enough, the argument escalated until it felt like the Trojan itself. Heaven knows I wanted to keep quiet before things got out of hand, but I just couldn't. I had a totally different opinion. “Favour, just keep quiet and listen. This is my field. You cannot always be smart in everything.” She yelled in my face. “What do you mean? The fact that this topic is related to your field doesn't mean you cannot go wrong.” I replied. “Favour, you cannot always be smart. Embrace change. Don’t always try to make people feel dumb. This is why I hate discussing things with you.” with pain in her voice, she stormed off.

We were both angry that we didn't talk for days. “Why would she yell at me in the presence of my friends?” It was embarrassing. After about two days, she managed to send a text message. She said a lot in it. “You made me feel dumb in the presence of others. Embrace change.'' This is a summary of the message she sent. Did I really embarrass her? Our friendship was on the verge of breaking down just because of a silly argument. As I sluggishly walked to the bathroom, the words kept ringing in my head, “maybe it is time to embrace change.”

I sat down to think about us- our friendship. I wasn't ready (and I don’t think I'd ever be ready) to let go of everything. Had I been making my friend feel dumb whenever we argued? After thinking deeply I came to realize that I'd been approaching our discussions with a single-minded goal of proving myself right, rather than trying to understand her perspective. I realized that if I wanted to preserve our friendship, I needed to embrace change. I went over to her place and we talked things out. Luckily, neither of us damaged things beyond repair.

Change can be scary and really difficult. However, it is a vital key to keeping friendships strong.

Note: All images in this post are mine.

Thanks for reading.