I have been thinking a lot about the details and possibilities of a small family unit for me, probably something to do with my advancement in age, or something in the water. However, thinking about it comes with its pressure and longing to fully comprehend what I could be getting myself into.
Every unit of our society is hinged on financial responsibility and capability, you have to get your money right to be able to function. Be it as a single individual or a family. Money talk is one of the many topics with a record of nipping potential marriage possibilities in the bud. Everyone and couples intending to get married is/are advised to have a detailed money conversation with their partners to make sure they are on the same page.
Back in the day, the success of a marriage was dependent on how rooted the traditional roles are in the home. The wife doesn’t engage in corporate jobs but handles the family management business, every little detail of caring for every member of the family; while the husband takes on the job of providing the financial needs of the family. That worked, and is still working bro an extent.
However, the realities of our existence have taken quite the turn. The economic situation of the world hasn’t been so favorable to the traditional roles of a family. Now, it takes more than one person bringing in the guns to keep the wheels rolling. A family unit now requires more than one source of income to keep things stable, especially among the low income earners and the middle class, I guess.
It so happens, that while one demographic of the heteronormative family arrangement is willing to adjust their roles to accommodate their current realities, one isn’t. It would appear, that in the part of the societies where these tradition has been the order, the husbands have refused to adjust their roles to accommodate the role they have spent centuries not participating in, whilst expecting the wives to pitch in with the finances in order to keep the heavy ball rolling.
When I think of myself in a marriage scene, I actively refuse to picture myself in a scene where I’m saddled with all the domestic responsibilities there is. While I do love taking care of myself and my person, I certainly do not want to find myself doing that from a place of duty, without a choice but to perform. I grew up around such traditional roles and I’ve seen what damage that can do.
The goal is to make a beautiful life with a person who can hold their own as well as I do mine.
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