Sometimes we meet people who we think will stay in our lives forever.
People we trust, who we help at various times in life, who also help us. People that we enjoy good times and that we are sure we know from other lives, in case you believe it... If you don't believe it, I think the feeling is that you have always known each other, an intense feeling that after you feel it, it seems that always been there.
Usually when we have someone like that in our lives, we believe that we will never lose or walk away from that person. But life is surprising, isn't it? And suddenly for some external reason, you end up having to walk away for good. It's painful. But, sometimes it is necessary.
This happened to me recently. And I wonder what will happen when we see each other again. What I will feel when I see that person other time, what that person will feel. How we will look at each other? How do you look at a person who has meant so much to you but who is now nothing more?
I don't have an answer for that. But once I read somewhere that the worst thing for an anxious person is to wait for time. It is waiting for resolutions that only time can give and show.
My choice is not to wait and just live. Without expectations of who one day that person will be for me, of who I will be.
After a while, it doesn't hurt anymore. After a while, all that remains is the serenity and the strangeness of not having anymore someone who meant a lot, but no anymore.
I'm in this moment. But sometimes... On gray days like today, I feel a little sad.