There are many factors to think about and consider before one takes a decision, as decisions require careful thought and not rashness. For most of our lives, we've made decisions about one thing or another and now till we transit this world, we will still make decisions.
Personally, I put into consideration, my family, friends, personal happiness and so on when making decisions.
Same applies when I consider whom to love. I try not to allow myself get caught up in the euphoria of the moment, rather I make far-sighted decisions that would be beneficial to both parties in the long run.
I take careful decisions on what to expect and what not to allow in so as to protect my space, mind and physical well being. Of course, this does not start when there's a prospective lover or when those romantic feelings begin to bloom and knock me senseless. The journey to making these decisions begins from the awareness that I'm ready for this level in my life.
Making decisions like this well ahead of time does not eliminate risks or errors but it gives me the power to understand what I want, place value on it and give it my all. Plus it also gives me the advantage and not allow me to be undignified or be at a state of helplessness.
So in all I am careful about whom to love, looking out for signs of toxicity which might become problematic in the long run and cause me harm.
I care more about the future results of my decision than the present euphoric moments, which are fleeting and fall like a pack of cards when storms of life hit.
(2). ** Endure or walk away?**
Pre marital sex is no doubt a popular topic amongst young people, who indulge in it spontaneously with total disregard for the consequences. One of which is unplanned and unwanted pregnancy. When such occurs (placing myself in that shoe), responsibility for life comes first.
When that is taken care of and I discover that my partner's family members are rude and disrespectful to me with my partner standing idly by and passively allowing it then it's time for another major decision making.
I'm averse to anything or anyone that wants to degrade and trample on my dignity as a human being. We make mistakes that's why we use the cliche,
"To err is human"
With this already considered, I won't endure any form of disrespect coming from the so called in-laws as this would have a damaging effect on my self-worth and esteem which might in turn have a negative effect on the baby.
Also, if I were to endure such maltreatment all because I'm afraid of societal pressures that comes with raising a child single handedly to remain with such toxic family, then I have already set the stage for more of such for the child when it's born. Thus establishing a toxic environment for that innocent child to grow up in, and that would lead to a cycle of abuse and curse that might take years to break out from.
Women need security from a man. We need to know that "he" can care for and protect us physically, financially, emotionally and otherwise. A man who allows his family bully his woman is no man in my eyes, after all there should be a clear cut line between both relationships.
" He must leave his father and mother and cleave to his chosen woman for the two has now become one flesh".
Thanks for reading..shalom.
This is my response to the #ladiesofhiveweeklycontestpromt #173. The contest is ongoing, feel free to participate.
Images used are mine.