As normal, I had some interesting conversations of late and one of them was with my wife about the parts of the body, Physical, Mental, Emotional; and their health. What I find interesting is that while it is pretty clear what is needed to keep the body healthy, Mental health, and especially Emotional health have a lot less clarity with them, with many people not really knowing what is needed.
For instance, "bullying" came up in a separate conversation at work with a close colleague, with them knowing I am a proponent of bullying in the schools. However, they also don't understand what I mean by this, because as they stated, a lot of trauma can be caused by the stress created by bullying, referencing the many studies that show changed brains from emotional stress from bullying that carries through to adulthood. While that is not the level I am talking about, but on that note, where are the studies on brains that don't get enough emotional stimulus?
As I see it, just like the body needs "stress" to strengthen, the mind and body do too. If the emotional component is sheltered from negative experiences, it is going to be far more sensitive to them when they inevitably occur, because there is no conditioning. It is like if eating eating spicy food for the first time, having a traditional vindaloo curry - it is going to burn, and it isn't going to be pleasant.
And, I tried to explain this with a hypothetical extreme of a person raised in a deprivation room, where there is nothing to feed the five physical senses, no stimuli for the brain to consume and process, and no events for the emotional self to develop - and then releasing them into the world.
It's also going to burn.
Having said this, bullying itself has also changed form, as he mentioned, where it is not only physical, but also often online and quite relentless. And, children are the cruelest, because they don't fully understand the consequences of their actions. And, the effects of the lack of understanding is amplified because they have also become less socially aware, and more selfish, more entitled, more demanding.
Whilst also less emotionally controlled.
On top of this, we have created a culture where we have made the digital representation of ourselves more important than the physical, and doubled down on this digital avatar by handing our kids tablets and phones, teaching them that the most important parts of their lives, are lived through a screen, and taught them to build their personal brand. So now, even without any physical contact, the most emotionally sensitive part of a child's life, is also easily targetable. And it isn't just at the localized school level, it is global, for all to see.
Or at least, that is how it probably feels for the kids.
So, don't get me wrong, this kind of "bullying" of today is not what I am condoning, because it isn't actually bullying, it is far, far harsher than what I am talking about. I am talking about difficult people, low-level cruelty, assholes who steal lunch money and call names - the types of people who exist at all ages of life in some form. And because they exist elsewhere, learning how to deal with them as a child, where it is a relatively safe environment, makes sense.
However, we have broken the system by trying to engineer outcomes to protect ourselves, because we are no longer getting a broad enough experience to learn all the things we need to learn in order to become well-rounded, healthy, mature adults. And, this is pervasive globally and affects all of the three parts of our collective bodies, where things like obesity is increasing, mental illness is increasing, and emotional volatility is increasing. This creates a metaphorical tinderbox, with an endless array of triggers ready to create a spark.
I am no expert when it comes to holistic health, but going on what my daughter said the other day as the four things to keep a body healthy, I think it is a good place to start considering what is needed. The four things are exercise, nutrition, rest, and hygiene. For a healthy physical body, all things need to be taken care of in some way. But, I think that these things apply to the mental and emotional components of the body also, so I made a really simple chart below to begin the journey, that I will reference and refine in later articles.
| Action | Physical | Mental | Emotional |
|---|---|---|---|
| Exercise | Movement | Learn | Stress |
| Nutrition | Diet | Information | Experience |
| Rest | Sleep | Meditate | Space |
| Hygiene | Bathe | Journaling | Reflection |
I think that the Physical column is pretty easy to identify, but there are likely many other options for the mental and emotional rows that might fit better. If you think of some, make a suggestion. However, what I do recognize from this is that especially in the emotional side of things, there are likely a lot of opinions about what is needed, and what for instance "good experience" is for emotional health in the nutrition row.
When it comes to the physical, we know we are what we eat and what "good food" is at least in a general sense of our needs and requirements. And even at the mental level, we know similar, that in order to have a healthy mind, we also have to think about the quality of information we feed it, even though many of us are likely consuming far less that nutritional content. But at the emotional level, "experience" is a little ambiguous.
And, this is made worse because we are increasingly engineering our world to curate our experience, at all three of these levels. However, that means that we are able to avoid randomness and some experiences over others by choice, which means that we will not be exposed to the conditions of some aspects of living, even if we are going to meet them later in our life.
For instance, I never wanted or chose to be bullied at school, so if I had the choice, I would have chosen to have far nicer experiences and a childhood full of good friends and laughter. However, if I had that experience, I wouldn't have likely built the emotional resilience that I have today. To highlight this, think of the most spoiled person you know, and consider their behavior and how they treat others.
Is there a study on the changed brains of spoiled children?
If we can choose to avoid discomfort, we are wrapping ourselves in cottonwool so that when we are finally exposed to our first experiences of pain, it is far more painful than it is for someone who has had a smooth ramp of experience up to that level. It is like going to the gym and trying to squat 400 pounds, not only without warming up, but also without ever having squatted any weight before, except personal body weight.
Anyway, I have been trying to get my body, head and heart into better shape, and it is slow progress. This is because while I can see in the mirror and feel what I can improve physically, the mental and emotional is far harder to evaluate and identify gaps and opportunities. Not only this, a lot of the habits we have are built into us from childhood, so what we do feels like us, meaning that we think that the way we think and how we feel, is the way we are.
But, I suspect that while there are genetics in play, it is much like the body, treat the mind and emotional components poorly, feed them a wrong diet, don't move them enough, fill them with junk, overstimulate them, and don't keep them clean - and the same respective results will happen - we will be malnourished, lethargic, and ill.
So, while I am going on this journey from time to time and diving further into these aspects, I figure others might want to join in and reflect along the way, offering perspective and perhaps considering their own conditions of the three parts of their body too.
Taraz
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