A 26-Year Old Reflection| The Things I Learned

That’s something I learned in my entire 26 years of living on earth. Be it in any type of relationship & work, you can be easily replaced. This is why have 0 expectations towards anything. It saves you trouble and disappointment.

So hey! if you’re new here I am Cemy/Mac. I’ve been here for 6 years now and this is the space where I document my life journey of my entire adulthood. To say the least, my life has been pretty interesting and quite intense.

Since the last 6 years, I had a few suicide attempts , I almost died a couple of times, I lost my bestfriend and hasn't recovered since. But other than those bleak moments I had a pretty OK life.

I am blessed with awesome family, friends and most importantly, I am still breathing.

Today I’ll be sharing what I have learned in my entire 26 years of existence. I kind of do this once in a while. Looking back and reading what I was sharing, I sounded a little too pretentious. Perhaps, I’ll see this post again in a few years and think like that? who knows.

Every lesson that I learned along the way got me here. Most importantly, my pretentious self from 2017 would have said, “ I told you so” except I was lacking in execution. After going through it all and facing some monsters in my life here are some of the lists:

Learn your family dynamic

I know that everyone grows up differently but it’s never too wrong to learn who has the most power in your family. If you identify the person, make sure you have more power than them. Even more so when you want to do something that might upset them and could heavily impact your life entirely.

Take control of your life

It’s difficult to recognize when you’re still young. I did too. I was afraid of a lot of things but now, not anymore especially when I want to express myself and be who I am. Don’t let everyone decide that you can’t wear a certain thing, or do a certain thing. You should know what’s best for you.

Make money, really

I might sound like I am zen and low-key when it comes to money but honestly, money is everything. It gets you freedom and you can do whatever you want including being zen & low-key. If you have toxic family members like I do, money becomes increasingly important. If you live in a society where money gets the job done, that’s even more reason to have more money but keep it classy and low-key.

Have 0 expectations, life is fun that way

Life is such a roller coaster ride. One day it’s alright, thrilling & fun, another it throws you upside down and you could die too. Having 0 expectations towards anything removes expectations which could rob you from simple joys in life. When I enter a relationship, a new job, anything, I have 0 expectations but obviously have boundaries.

Life is full of politics

You never know if one person talks behind your back, you get thrown under the bus, you can never know what a person is capable of. So, listen and play the politics of life really well. You never know if one day you’re put into a position full of vipers and have the need to survive. So, survive until the last breath or quit. It’s all options.

Whatever you do in life, do it well

This is a must. Doing things really well leads you to places. Afterall, we do things for a reason. I often ask myself why I am doing it and whether it’s worth the trouble I am going through. If it’s still worth the trouble and I have convenience, why not do my best and see where it goes?

Keep your actual family a lot closer

Family is important even when you have differences, you can keep the ones that accept who you are and ditch the rest ;D.

Appreciate your friends and people who has helped you

Always tell them you’re grateful to have them and recognize their effort in making your lives better. Help them in any way you can too.

It's better to have no friends than to have one toxic friend

Be comfortable with eating alone, being alone, and growing old alone. Have all the plans just in case you have nobody when you get sick, and to the point how your wealth is going to be passed on including how your body is going to be cremated. Once you get comfortable with it, life is a lot freeing.

Wander, not travel

Most people travel anyway. They are not really wandering but that’s Ok maybe they’ve found their life purposes or it’s their style. Wandering means going without a plan. You visit another place, city, town without a plan other than surviving, trying to learn how they live their life, blending in and getting comfortable. There’s so much to learn out there and the people you meet taught you lessons a thing or two.

Being a sandwich generation sucks but...

It taught me many lessons that being comfortable breeds laziness and no innovation. As a start, my family wasn’t a sandwich generation but somehow I got the bad consequences of my parents' laziness. I learned from them that generational wealth in the wrong hands could lead to disaster. That living beyond your means is bad and that having no liquid asset is bad. Sure, you can have a house as an asset but they sell pretty slowly and even more so, you need to have a house in your own name because renting sucks and drains you. So, liquid assets are important too.

People change, you can change too & that’s Ok

As much as I dislike change, life happens. I never like people who change and dislike it but as I grow old, I become comfortable with change. I am changing too and if I don’t serve any purpose in anyone’s life anymore I’d be fine with it. I might attract different types of crowds and that’s OK.

I ended up coming to all of those conclusions because first, I have a funny family tree and I have to draw it just to make others understand. So, I have 2 dads, 3 moms but there was more to it as well.

I grew up in a very fun diverse family where somehow it's extreme on both ends. I made it out alive because I have power to determine my own life. It wasn’t easy getting there but I did it and now I am a lot comfortable with my identity. This is where I learned most of my life politics and navigating all sorts of people from different backgrounds, profiles and needs.

I am naturally curious and apparently I learned this trait from my adoptive dad that I also like complicating life. For example : I learned how to be homeless and sleep on the street for a few weeks despite having my own place and was pretty comfortable.

Another was I once went days without food just because I won't ask for help from my biological mom. I have that much pride. I ended up having money anyway even if it’s not instant.

Since my set of family is diverse, I can pick and choose who I want to be. I can have different names too depending on the family that I chose to be with but now I choose to play the role of generational sandwich. It’s not the most fun role there is but they are my set of awesome family that I can’t just leave.

That’s my life story these past 26 years and I might come back with different conclusions and reflections in the next five or ten years but these are the keys of life that currently guide me.